Archive for January, 2007
I apologize for the lack of updating lately. School started on Tuesday and by the end of the day, I was swamped. I still have a load to finish so we’ll see how often I update in the next couple weeks. Coming back to Berkeley is fun and exciting, but it’s also waking me up again since now I’ve so much more to do. I thought the first slap from Fall 2005 was rough… I think this is just as tough or tougher.
Anyway, there’s not too much to update besides school work I suppose. I’m really happy with everything right now and especially happy with my relationship to Stockton Boy. Things are… I don’t know how to describe it. Of course, things are always going to be different because who wants to be in a relationship that’s the same as something else, right? But things are… I don’t know. I think the main thing is that we try our best not to hide things from each other, or I try to at least. The best thing is that I completely trust him. It’s been hard lately for me to do that and it took quite some time for me to be able to say this for Stockton Boy. Either way, I’m happy. Life is pretty again. 
Now here’s the philosophical point: Why is it that in order for many people to appreciate what they have is when they’ve gone through something horrible? Why do people need that contrast to be able to say that one is better than the other? Does the world really need that comparison? In all honesty, people do. Most go through life knowing that they are blessed, but few truly appreciate all of it.
Say for example you’re eating a mango that’s completely unripe and sour. It’s a bad mango, right? Later on you have another mango that is sweeter and juicier. You appreciate that mango a lot more than you would have had you not had the bad mango. Okay, so switch it around. Let’s say you each the juicy mango first. You understand that you had a good mango, but you don’t truly savor each moment. Then you have another mango just to find out it’s terrible. Now you know that the first had been a really good mango.
Does that make sense?
Anyway, my point is that people are so wrapped up in other things that until something goes bad, then do they really start feeling more appreciative of what’s around them. True there are those who are truly grateful only from observing the misfortunes of others, but for the majority, that’s how many live.
It’s just a good thing to wonder sometimes though when you’ve gone through something bad and somebody good comes along. If that good somebody had come first, would you have had the same level of appreciation for that person? Or would you have known that that person was a good person, but without the comparison of a bad person, you couldn’t truly be grateful for the good person.
Have you ever wondered why you were brought upon this Earth? Why is it that you were given the soul to live, the life that you have now? Why were you given the things you have and lack other things?
What is your purpose in life?
That’s always a tough question to answer, especially for the depressed. Do you imagine what others’ lives would have been like if you had not been in them? Even for that split second, what could have happened? If others had not been in your life, how would you have turned out? Who has made a great significance to who you are as a person, as a being? To whom have you made a great impact?
Do you ever think about the possibility of being that one person that’s needed somewhere in that some place at the right time? Even perhaps involuntarily, could you have done something that has changed someone else’s life forever? Do you think that you could have possibly been the happiest thing to have happened in someone else’s life? Who would you say has made you just as happy?
I believe that life has meaning when you make it have meaning like when you go out and do something that is for you and for those that you love. Sure, there may be some “evil” doings, but it’s only “evil” in the eyes of your respective society, remember that. If you truly believe that you have a purpose, a reason behind your actions, then go for it. Also consider the possible results and aftermath that could result from your actions.
My point is that life always has meaning; it’s up to you to determine how you want to interpret that meaning for yourself and how you want to live your life. Be the person you want to be; don’t pick at your flaws. Change to become the person you are happy with and if you are already happy, then continue to spread your confidence among others so that they may understand what it is like to be truly content with themselves and will strive to be at peace.
Apparently, loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things. You can start out doing both, but them the “in love” part fades away and all that’s left is the love you feel for them, but not to really be “in love” with them.
I don’t know how to quite describe it, but it makes sense. After a while, you stop loving the person like you used to, but you still love that person nonetheless. You care for the person and for that person’s well-being, but you’re no longer in love with that person. I guess it’s quite a subtle transaction but quite a large distinction.
So what do married couples go through? I believe that when you are married with someone, s/he may change what they do every day and somewhat change as a person. However, if his/her main principles still stand true, then there’s a chance to make it work. As long as the values and beliefs have not drastically changed, then it can work. Should the other person change along the duration of the marriage, then that’s where the fun starts up again because you get to fall back in love with your spouse.
But sometimes, some people aren’t so lucky. I just don’t want to be one of those people except I don’t know how to secure myself in that way. I don’t know if I’ll know that the person I want to marry (someday) will be the one. I want him to be. I want him to be the last person I’ll ever be with for the rest of my life. No divorces, no long-term separations, no shit like that. Once I’m married, I want to be married for life.
Honestly though, who really knows? Those who get married have that hope, that wish, but in the end, nobody really knows what the future brings and what will come your way.
So when you fall in love with someone, how do you know if that’s ever going to end? And if it does, then do you think it’s possible to still be with the person and still love the person at the same time despite how different the two emotions of love are?
Disney is such a huge corporation and it started about a century ago (1923). It’s created so many things and implanted so many ideas into the heads of children, both good and bad.
Let’s see here… has anyone noticed the roles of women and men in many of the movies (more recent or popular ones)? Beauty and the Beast, Lady and the Tramp, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Aladdin all portray lesser or hideous men who are saved by a “fairer” or “better” lady. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella show that women must be “saved” from some gallant prince. In all honesty, Disney doesn’t really have a certain stand point on its views on the roles of women and men, but it depends on how often they portray a certain kind of image. Do they care about the images their movies impart in the minds of children? As long as it doesn’t offend too many people, then it’s fine, right?
I wonder though, if they have a movie where the man is saved from the perils of evil by a woman.
And damn their music. I’ve been listening to their three Greatest Hits CDs today and I just feel really… romantic. I feel like I want to be one those princesses who needs to be saved with a kiss. Or maybe I can just settle to waking up every day with the man I love with a kiss. That would be really lovely… to be snuggling in bed with someone and should he wake before me, have him lightly kiss me (of course, not really minding that I have morning breath 
) just to wake me up.
It means no worries, for the rest of your days…
Speaking of songs… I always get the chills when I listen to Mulan’s “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.” I don’t know why, but damn it, every time I listen to that song, I get goosebumps.
I wonder how those people in the Disney costumes (the non-human ones) sign their names with their big foamy hands? It’s been a while since I’ve been to Disneyland, so I don’t remember.
So whoopee. It’s 2007. (unenthusiastically) Yay. I honestly think that almost all of the holidays celebrated in the States have lost their true meaning and now it’s all about getting drunk. I was walking through the drugstore the other day and saw all this crap for Valentine’s Day. Seriously, who wants to celebrate their love on the same day that everybody else is? If I want a special day to celebrate with the one I’m with, then I choose my own damn day and not look at the calendar. Seriously.
Anyway, what has happened since I last informed you? Well, if you have, or haven’t noticed, I have created a daily journal now. It’s pretty much a (boring) detailed blog that I update as often as I can, but only once a day. My friend, NN, and I finally exchanged our Christmas gifts and I love mine. =) Too lazy to take pictures now, but I may later… Maybe.
I’ve started packing to move back to Cal and I’m getting rid of a lot of papers mostly and leaving behind a lot of other things. I have, however, decided to leave behind anything that reminds me of the ex since this is a new start, a new year, and a new me. I don’t need to be reminded of those times and have realized that he was not exactly the best influence for me. So, all of that will go into a box and stay in my hometown. I am taking quite a few reading books with me, especially the new one I just bought, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. I can’t wait to get my hands on her latest book, New Moon!
I have a lot of stuff. 
I just hope it will all fit in the car.
Anyway, I have more to say, but I would like to get started on a movie before I head to bed. That and also because I feel I have written enough to keep you bored.
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