I wish that I could run into people like Rhiannon who has a different opinion than I do, but can handle it in a much more mature manner than other people.
For those who have been keeping up with the blog, then you remember the wonderful fight that happened on this blog due to a difference of opinions. I admit that I did not state mine clearly on the issue and had relied on the fact that some might pick up what my opinion was, but I know now that I can’t assume people will get it. I need explicitly state it or else it gets lost between all the mush and sarcasm.
But back to my point… so Rhiannon didn’t like the issue either and had blogged about it (she took it down due to my good behavior). I must admit that I got a bit defensive because that’s just how I am, but all of her points made sense and I understood where she was coming from. It wasn’t a bash directed towards me nor was she name-calling and making absurd assumptions about me. She carried herself in a good manner, something that I truly appreciated.
So… why can’t everybody be like that?! I’ve run into people with such strong opinions and with such rude demeanor that I really try my best to avoid them. I know that I shouldn’t have to avoid them, but what else am I going to do? Confront them? It’s like that quote, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” It’s the same with close-minded stubborn people. (I can be the horse sometimes too but that’s another story)
I just wish that I could just not have to associate or interact with people who really can’t handle things on a higher level. It doesn’t matter what the age is; there should be some sort of middle ground that everyone should know, right?
Anyway, that’s just a silly wish of mine.
It’s so easy for someone to make rules that s/he wants to follow, but when that one special person comes along, all the rules get bent and broken.
So then, what’s the point of making the rules? Are the rules there to weed out the bad ones? Or because we feel that all the other relationships have been so bad that having rules makes it “safe” again.
But see, the rules get broken. Especially when someone comes along and takes your heart away, the rules get trampled on. It doesn’t always mean in a good way either. (I just want to believe it’s in the good way because I’m such a hopeless romantic.) The point is that we are so apt to make these guide lines that we believe future significant others need to follow, yet we always find a way to bend them to fit, to break them to mold.
My question is then, what’s the point? Why go through all that hassle? Or maybe, you use the rules as a measurement of how much you’re willing to change and to sacrifice for this one person.
I don’t know the statistics for it, but for a lot of women, their rapists are people that they’ve met before and/or the night of. This does not include those who walk down the street, by the way.
It makes a little bit of sense, doesn’t it? A girl goes to a party and runs into someone she’s met just once or twice. She’s drinking; he’s drinking and everything is swell… right up until they’re in a room and the guy wants sex but she doesn’t. However, she’s impaired and can’t really defend herself properly and so… in he goes.
Other times, it’s because of an abusive husband or boyfriend. The wife/girlfriend feels scared and doesn’t know what to do, so she gives in to give him what he wants, even if she doesn’t. It’s also difficult for women to run away since unfortunately, they are physically weaker than men on average.
I know that this is stuff you all might have heard or would have guessed, but I just wanted to say something about this topic because it’s been something I’ve been thinking about recently.
Why, do you ask? Because I realized that I, too, was raped. Not in the violent, stereotypical way, but I was forced to have sexual intercourse when it was quite obvious that I did not want to. Why did I do it? I was scared.
I hate myself for it too. I could have left; I could have said no. But I was scared of what he would do to himself and what he would do to me, not physically though. Long story short, he was someone I was forbidden to see and since I was staying at home with my parents at the time, I did not want him to create a scene in front of them; that was the last thing I needed.
I know that this particular rape isn’t as severe as others’, but now that I’ve had time to process it, I realize that this does qualify as rape. I absolutely loathe myself too for putting myself in this kind of a situation. I always thought that I could be strong, that if a man were to ever hit me, I’d leave.
But… I was never hit and that’s where I failed. Live and learn, folks. Live and learn.
[edit] I forgot to state my point: Don’t always trust the person you’ve met or you’re with and if you feel that the person might have some anger/emotional issues, address them as soon as possible. Don’t fool yourself like I did to myself; realize that when you don’t want to do something, you have that right, especially when it comes to intercourse.
So I’ve decided that I can make simple, very simple, WordPress themes. Mari thinks I should just use my website themes to distribute, but seeing as how I use others’ photography, I don’t have the rights to do that without their permission.
I’ve added a new plugin called Slimbox. (I’d link, but too lazy to get it) It’s an awesome plugin that allows me to use thumbnails around the site and still have it load to full page without the use of any “Back” buttons. I also stopped using the plugin, cforms, because a lot of the forms weren’t going through right, so I just installed Codegrrl’s NL-PHPMail instead. (All links can be found in “The Domain”).
Just because I don’t always have the time to look for photographers, I’m thinking about making a page where people can submit a photographer’s work to be used as a layout for Boscardin. I’m really into this photography bit and it would help give the person some exposure, right? Anyway, I’m going to get started on that now.
[edit] I added the Ultimate Tag Warrior plugin so now I have to go back on all my posts and add tags. Rawr. Oh well, summer school ends in less than 24 hours and I’ll be free.
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