Comments on: Please Erase My 1.5 Years

By: Sigrun

Sigrun — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:32:47 +0000

I’ve had it like that, and I can relate to your situation because I lowered my standards too. I think love can be blinding, but when the crush fades and you still remain in love, you should be able to look past the flaws, but demand respect and high standards anyway.

By: Adastra

Adastra — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 06:39:23 +0000

I feel the same way about my last relationship, and I swore to myself I’ll never let something like that happen again. In fact it has raised my requirements to such high standards that it’s almost impossible to ever find that perfect guy. I have been single since then (about 2 years), but right now I’m also in a place where I absolutely don’t want another relationship.

By: Chrissie

Chrissie — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 13:55:28 +0000

I think It’s hard to tell if it’s the one or not when you first meet. It’s nice for all these couples later on down the track to say it was love at first sight, but seriously, when you have a crush on someone and are beginning a relationship it’s always full of emotion. the fact that they are still toghether shows more that they are compatible than the hormones ever could.

Don’t come down too hard on yourself. we all do what we think is right at the time and although you realise now that you are not happy with the way things were, at the time it felt right and there is nothing wrong with that. We change, just as the way we view people and the world will change. Whether that change be over a long period of time or day to day, it will dramatically alter the way we feel about people and situations we previously thought of as normal.

Go with the way you feel at present and never regret the things you have done, for without doing those things you would not be the person you are today with the thoughts and sense of self you now own.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 04:19:26 +0000

I’m sorry you had ot go through such a hard period. Looking back is the only way you can realise you have done something “wrong” because you don’t realise you’re doing anything wrong. It is a good thing that you’ve realised you don’t like the person you temporarilly became because if you hadn’t reflected of course you would have stayed just as you were.

this is a bit of a pointless comment because of course you knew that

By: Sophie

Sophie — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 20:57:00 +0000

Well I suppose your lesson has been learnt, and you can avoid it in the future. It’s best not to look back, but to take things one day at a time and look forward to what the next day brings.

By: Jules

Jules — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 05:27:26 +0000

I’ve been there. I’ve lowered my standards. I’ve ‘fallen’ for someone society would have deemed an outcast. And I ended the relationship, later realizing that I was better off and didn’t really love him. I think it’s much more stress than it’s worth. Is love blinding? I think so. But that’s what makes it dangerous and mysterious and exciting and wonderful. And I think a person can easily fall out of love just as they can easily fall in love. Why would that be such a crime anyway?

By: Dessa

Dessa — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 01:30:38 +0000

Well, the lesson has been learned, and it’s a valuable one at that. Real love doesn’t die. You can however still love someone and fall out of being “in love”, but the reason why some people can stay together so long is because the unconditional LOVE is still there and because of that they can wait it out and fall back in love once again. Sometimes perhaps people mistake infatuation with something that can be long lasting, but surely, it dies once you get to know that the fantasy is not the reality.

By: Irene

Irene — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 20:04:49 +0000

Hindsight is 20/20 and is even more so in romantic relationships, at least in my opinion. Even though you may realize that you’re in a “bad” or “going nowhere” relationship, your heart most often ignores your brain and you stay in that relationship. I think too many of us, especially woman, are gluttons for punishment. We think that even though we can do better than who we’re with, we feel that we can change this person to be someone worth staying with and caring for. Does that make sense? *lol*

As for not putting yourself in that position again, I think it’s difficult to prevent it if you’re not aware that it’s even going on. A lot of woman continue to have bad relationships and to be with men who are jerks because they are not aware of the traits in these men that make them bad to start with. I think that if you pay close enough attention to the guy you’re spending time with, that you’ll notice if he has these characteristics.

Relationships are never easy, even with a great guy. Trust me. ^^

By: Nat Marie

Nat Marie — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 02:19:44 +0000

Hm…you know I never thought about it until now. I had a boyfriend who had several quirks about him and they weren’t too good either, and I was like “hey, maybe it will change”. I was blinded by love, and eventually he disappears in thin air. He’s left me bitter, no doubt about it, but now I know that he was just going to get on my nerves in the future so I guess it was for the best.I wouldn’t say that I regret it, it’s more of an awareness. If he doesn’t value personal hygiene, then he isn’t someone I want to be with. If he’s going to go off and cheat on me and completely deny it when I already know,then he’s not for me.

By: Anjela

Anjela — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 10:09:57 +0000

You ask a tough question. But an interesting one. To refer to the beginning of your post, I think it’s more sad to say you wished things to be different with a particular person. At the same time though, I think it’s only natural to think of things like that… hindsight helps us learn, and hopefully to make the next time better. So it can’t really be a tragedy/sad if you learn from your mistakes, because the next person will bring new things to the relationship, and so will you. Nothing should be regretted, as you’ve learned how you feel if you lower your standards to such a level.

How to prevent from doing it again? Try and determine at what point you felt your standards were slipping. while relationships involve give and take, just try and remember how too much giving/lowering made you feel, and use that as a basis for your next relationship. I think love has potential to be very blinding. I find that when I have no idea what to do about something, the best thing is to take a step back and try and see the situation from another person’s point of view. Which sometimes is tough because you have to admit to/consider things you’ve been trying to avoid, or not notice. But when you let yourself think of those things, it does help put your relationship into perspective. In essence, a pros and a cons list. I’m guilty of ignoring bad things myself. It’s so easy to gloss over things that at any other time would make you say ‘hang on, I’m not putting up with that.’ I guess, ultimately, there’s no one way of knowing if it really is love, or what is true love. They may not be the one, but I also think it’s possible to love more than person. Also, I don’t think it’s that easy to fall out of love. You may love someone less at certain times, such as after a fight or something (trivial example, I know), but there’s always bumps. If it makes the other person’s day to hear that you love them, and means a lot to them, I think that’s a good example of love. But that could be just me and my experiences. This post has given me a lot of food for thought. I like it.