Two Sides, Two Faces

02.12.07

Posted under: Relationships, Thoughts

I have always, always tried to hear both sides of a story, or at least leave the possibility and the mind open for that other side. Sometimes, for those closest to me, I don’t do a very good job of that.

What prompted this particular post was when I was caught off guard by a friend of mine. I care about a particular person and because of that, I normally don’t question that person’s integrity, that person’s personality. I take what I can from that person’s stories, right? Unfortunately, the other side of of the story isn’t as pleasant as it was when I had heard the first time around.

What makes us do that? We do we make that person so ideal, so perfect that after a certain point, flaws are no longer accepted? No, I can’t figure out if I had chosen to block out the flaws or if I had chosen not to look for them, but either way, they were not recognized. The other side of the story never had a chance to explain itself when it so rightly deserved the chance.

Just to get to the point here, there is always more than one side to the story and to completely close yourself off to another side is a foolish idea, a foolish action. If one side of the story doesn’t make sense, well then, it deserves some more explanation, it deserves another side, another story. What it does not deserve is another lie.

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Tags: ideals, lie, lies, questions, story, two sides

21 Comments »

Julie voiced:

Sunday, December 2, 2007 @ 1:31 pm GMT-8

That’s deep hon. Yea, we tend to do that, find someone we care about and put them on this throne where we just do not see any flaws. But once these flaws are made known to us, the person falls hard in our eyes.
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Rilla replied:

Sunday, December 2, 2007 @ 10:04 pm GMT-8

I don’t tend to make final judgments based on what I hear. If I can I always like basing judgments upon what Iknow because too many times, all you get is only one side of a complicated story.
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Jessica answered:

Monday, December 3, 2007 @ 2:53 pm GMT-8

Sometimes I think that we tend to want to avoid unpleasant things, so we don’t want to hear about them especially if it’s about someone that we care about. So, I wonder if it’s just human nature to want to hear about the other side of a story…even if we really don’t want to hear it? I don’t know…but the whole situation is worth thinking about.
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Maria stated:

Tuesday, December 4, 2007 @ 12:32 am GMT-8

Julie,

Fall hard they do and then you just don’t know where to go from there.
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Maria stated:

Tuesday, December 4, 2007 @ 12:33 am GMT-8

Rilla,

See, I was like you too, but sometimes, that one person you never thought or for whatever reason, you let your guard down, you do what you don’t normally do and then… well, the other side comes out.

But I was like you too and I still try to be.
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Maria answered:

Tuesday, December 4, 2007 @ 12:34 am GMT-8

Jessie,

Human nature makes us do a lot of things. It makes us not see the flaws, yet at the same time, once we get an inkling of it, we have to expose it for all its worth.
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Shannon answered:

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 @ 3:31 pm GMT-8

It’s inevitable for us to block out the bad things about a person. We deal with them because we want to be good friends or we just cherish and admire the good things so much that they blind us from seeing other things. One thing I have always done is try to see both sides of the story as well. I’m known by my associates as the person who will tell it like it is. If they’re wrong, they’re wrong. I pretty much know them to the point where their actions are almost predictable so when things occur, I never put anything past them.
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Maria stated:

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 @ 5:42 pm GMT-8

Shannon,

That’s good about what you do. I usually do that, but like I said, this one… well, this one was different.
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Kelly wrote:

Thursday, December 6, 2007 @ 7:02 pm GMT-8

I like to think I don’t let my feelings for a person or thing cloud my judgement and that I can be unbiased, but now that I come to think about it, who am I kidding?
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Olivia announced:

Friday, December 7, 2007 @ 9:58 am GMT-8

I don’t put anyone on that sort of pedestal. Sometimes I wish I could; to relieve the pain of disappointment.
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Anya declared:

Saturday, December 8, 2007 @ 6:27 pm GMT-8

Amen. I wish I knew what the actual scenario was, though…

I can relate to what you’re saying. Letting your guard down can be one of the best things you do or a terrible mistake.
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Mariâ˜…Diary » Re: It’s All Just an Addiction stated:

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 @ 10:07 pm GMT-8

[...] Maria also wrote a post that partially talked about how sometimes you tend to idealize people that are close to you, friends, family, etc. [...]
Maria expressed:

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 @ 10:29 pm GMT-8

Kelly,

That’s what I thought! Everybody seems to think that, right? And then we all find out the hard way. Lol.
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Maria said:

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 @ 10:30 pm GMT-8

Olivia,

To relieve the disappointment? But wouldn’t putting them on the pedestals create more disappointment when that person falls off it?
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Maria commented:

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 @ 10:31 pm GMT-8

Anya,

I’m still trying to figure out which one it is: the good idea or the mistake.
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Heather said:

Thursday, December 13, 2007 @ 10:26 am GMT-8

Yah I always like to get both sides before I judge because the other side is usually completely different. I hope things get figured out soon!
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Anna wrote:

Thursday, December 13, 2007 @ 2:40 pm GMT-8

When I giving people advice, I feel that I can’t do justice to the advice because I don’t know what’s going on the other side. And it’s not fair to just assume that my friend is the right one, but I do, because it makes her feel better. And then I feel awful, for telling her that she doesn’t need that and stuff.

But I think it’s always important to hear two sides of everything, even if it’s just a story and not an argument. It always makes things easier and cleaner.
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Ashley expressed:

Friday, December 14, 2007 @ 1:38 am GMT-8

It sucks when you hold someone in high esteem, and the person just doesn’t live up to your ideals. You always see people interviewed on tv, talking about someone they “thought they knew”. Like “he was the nicest guy” or “I never would have guessed”.

People really can’t surprise me anymore. I’m surprised I’m not completely bitter yet.
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Maria expressed:

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 @ 4:50 pm GMT-8

Heather,

That’s the thing about the stories that people tell. They are both completely different despite having shared some of the same aspects.
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Maria wrote:

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 @ 4:50 pm GMT-8

Anna,

That’s what I try to do too, if not then I try to explain perhaps what the other party might be feeling to give that friend a better perspective instead of the me-me-me route.
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Maria answered:

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 @ 4:51 pm GMT-8

Ashley,

I’m surprised too that you’re not completely bitter considering the world we live in. I hate people so much as a whole, you have no idea. But I know that there are good in a few select individuals and sometimes, that thinking that everybody is good can bite me in the ass.
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