Bad People?

12.07.08

Posted under: People, Thoughts

Are people really “bad” people? Technically, “bad” is a subjective term, no? For example, conservatives tend to see pre-marital sex as “bad” whereas liberals don’t always see it the same way.

I was thinking about this when a friend, MJ, mentioned that this girl, SS, wasn’t a “bad” girl. I found it a little odd to say, but I understood what she meant. See, to me, SS can be labeled as “bad” when comparing her to the social norms, but thinking about it, I don’t really hate her. Instead, MJ and I decided that SS had too many habits that clashed with our ability to be friends.

Back to the question though, are people really “bad” people? Especially if we compare them to our personal beliefs and values? If we put our personal morals aside, what would define a “bad” person? In a way, it’s all relative depending on the culture and social norms. Are there any universal norms which we can use as a base for this definition?

On a more personal level, when do you feel as if you’re a “bad” person? Does it depend on someone’s reaction and interaction with you? Or does it depend on something else? When did you feel your worst?

For me, I don’t really think that there’s a true measure in determining what makes a person “good” or “bad.” I see a person as being a “bad” person if one knows that what one is doing is socially wrong, but continues to do it anyway. A person is a “bad” person if one is hurting someone else and knows it, but does it anyway.

But really, it’s just a “bad” action, isn’t it? For me, I would like to consider myself as a relatively decent person. There are times though when I want to be evil, when I want to hurt others knowingly, but that doesn’t necessarily make me a bad person, no?

I feel that I’m a “bad” person when I know I’ve hurt someone, whether I know it beforehand or not. I feel that I’m a bad person when I know that I could have helped a friend, but didn’t due to really selfish reasons. For me, it does involve some sort of interaction with someone else. Hell, if I lived by myself and didn’t have to connect with anyone, how would I ever feel bad?

I don’t have a particular instance in which I felt really bad. It was more of a time period. It was last November. I was really upset with Stockton Boy, so in my bad judgment, I went over and yelled at him. I made a remark that I knew would have hurt him a lot; which it did. A day later, I felt so guilt-ridden, I tried to hurt myself. During that whole time, I hurt a lot of people. I hurt myself, Stockton Boy, caring friends, and my family. It was a difficult time and I don’t know if I can ever truly forgive myself for that whole ordeal.

What about you?

Share:

Rate this:

4.0 (9 people)

Related Posts:

Tags: bad habits, bad people, culture, friendships, good vs bad, Relationships, social norms

22 Comments »

Michael Aulia stated:

Saturday, July 12, 2008 @ 2:21 pm GMT-8

Well I guess we have our own mindset of what “bad” is, as you said on the post. Some people think that party people (being drunk and all that) are bad, some don’t.

But again, everyone by nature is a sinful bad person. Either people see it or not, we’ll always have the tendency to hurt people, to be selfish, have wickedness in our thoughts and hearts

So the post should have been “How bad is bad?” maybe lol
Rate this:
2.9
Maria expressed:

Saturday, July 12, 2008 @ 2:23 pm GMT-8

Yeah, I’m not always good at making titles. I might change it. Deciding still.
Rate this:
2.9
Nathaniel Hawethorne answered:

Saturday, July 12, 2008 @ 4:23 pm GMT-8

I don’t think there is a qualifying good or bad, right or wrong. It all comes down to our own perceptions which are just years of societies training and influence.

I think it’s bad to kill someone in general and yet I have no problems with murders being killed.

I think it’s bad to smoke and yet I smoke.

I think the only real congruity with the majority of people is we all tend to agree that hurting someone is bad (someone we know anyway).

I think this comment might be bad and yet I wrote it anyway. But I didn’t leave my real name although I really wanted to.
Michael shouted:

Saturday, July 12, 2008 @ 6:42 pm GMT-8

I think we call others bad when they do something that could have affected then adversely; e.g., murder. It’d well happen to anyone, so we call/label it bad.
Rate this:
2.9
Indonesia Travel said:

Saturday, July 12, 2008 @ 10:32 pm GMT-8

The question is “Am I bad or just honest?” Is he/she good or just fake?”

If you have the time, try to read Dennis Rodman’s book, As Bad As I Wanna Be. It’s a good book and you will find many terms about bad and good.

Nice article Maria…
Rate this:
1.6
Michael Aulia announced:

Sunday, July 13, 2008 @ 2:47 am GMT-8

Oh, I don’t mean seriously that you should change the title! It’s kinda like a “joke”
Rate this:
2.9
Marie typed:

Sunday, July 13, 2008 @ 4:50 am GMT-8

Hey Maria,

Have you watched the show Dexter? Well, if you get a chance that show explores this concept and makes you look within so you may question your own morality.

Personally, I guess I’m an optimist and believe that people are born good and somehow along the way each of our life experiences start to shape us into being the unique individuals that we are. In addition to this, I also feel we show different sides of ourselves depending on situations and the people we are around. So I think whether someone is good or bad, is defined by each person’s individual subjectivity and assessment of a particular individual (or of your own self). And ofcourse, this assessment is further influenced by one’s own morals, beliefs and the experience they have had with that person.

A very thought provoking post, which I’ve enjoyed reading
Rate this:
3.5 (1 person)
Julie wrote:

Sunday, July 13, 2008 @ 11:47 am GMT-8

I don’t think social norms are the only things that really define a good or bad person. Some people make mistakes, realize they are mistakes, and correct their lifestyles. That makes them good people, or at least better people. Truly Bad (with a capital B) people are the ones with terrible personalities and are mean and abusive to others.
Rate this:
2.9
Angela shouted:

Sunday, July 13, 2008 @ 2:26 pm GMT-8

I don’t personally think that what is “socially norm” should be a deciding factor in what one could consider “bad” or “good”. I firmly believe that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, actions, and opinions as long as they do not impose them upon other people in a manner that causes another person distress, pain, anger, or any problems basically whatsoever. I guess where I’m going with this is that in my opinion, what I consider a bad person is just someone who does not have respect or compassion for other people and basically don’t care who they hurt or what they do to others. Those who get enjoyment from other people’s pain, users, liars, cheaters.. you get where I’m going. As long as you aren’t hurting anyone, and aren’t causing someone else unwanted or needed trouble or stress I’d say you’re pretty damn good in my book. That’s all.
Michael stated:

Sunday, July 13, 2008 @ 6:20 pm GMT-8

By the way, you’ve been tagged!
Rate this:
2.9
fragileheart wrote:

Monday, July 14, 2008 @ 8:36 am GMT-8

I agree with you to a certain extent. I think there is a line where, if you cross said line, you’re bad no matter what. For example, if you kill someone… I would like to think that regardless of your reasons for killing that person you’re a bad person because I do like to think that we have control over our actions even if we don’t have control over the situations we can find ourselves in from time to time. The bottom line is, no one has the right to take away someone else’s life even if you feel you don’t have a choice.

Even with robberies, I agree with people being able to defend themselves but I don’t think that killing someone is always necessary. Yes, if you felt that they would have killed you if you didn’t kill them then it’s self-defense, but people have been known to exercise excessive force in those situations. I would like to think that if I were ever in that situation, I would be able to disable him and tie him up well enough until the police arrived and let them deal with the matter. Of course, I also realise that it’s easy to speak when only dealing with a hypothetical situation but I’m just giving my opinion… and because this is a touchy subject I am going to say this too: I don’t think I’m 100% right, and I’m open to other people’s opinions so there’s no need to bash me.

Uhm… Maria… I’ve tagged you too… d’oh!
Rate this:
2.8
Mari voiced:

Monday, July 14, 2008 @ 9:42 pm GMT-8

This is an interesting topic. I was mulling this over in my head in conjunction with social norms and the penal system earlier today…

Most times when I hear the words “bad person” I think of gangsters and slimeballs who would sell their own mother’s soul for money. I never really think about whether people that do annoying things that don’t go well with my personality are “bad people”, they’re just annoying.

I don’t know, I just always think of it in terms of when people get thrown in jail for murder or something, when thinking about if they’re really bad people or not. I never think that when people let friends down that they’re bad people, it’s just that time they failed their friends. You can be a flake and still a good person, y’know?

I guess maybe I’m just a little naive still, but I usually assume most people are good people, just sometimes they act wrongly, but deep down they’re not really horrible.
Rate this:
2.5
Guttu commented:

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 @ 5:49 am GMT-8

Every human being has two sides. Angel and Devil. So this “bad” thing does exists. It’s only when the devil supersedes angel. That was just an example. Don’t take this as preaching..
Rate this:
2.5
Maria shouted:

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 @ 9:49 am GMT-8

@Nathaniel

You’re right in that aspect. Killing someone vs. killing a murderer brings different responses and there is no fine line between right and wrong.
Rate this:
3.1
Maria replied:

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 @ 9:57 am GMT-8

@Indonesia

Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll check it out.
Rate this:
3.1
Maria said:

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 @ 9:57 am GMT-8

@Michael A.

Oh… Well… I didn’t pick up on that joke part.
Rate this:
3.1
Maria expressed:

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 @ 10:06 am GMT-8

@Marie

I’ve give that show a look. Thanks for the suggestion.

I’d like to think that people are good too; I usually try to unless I’ve been told or I’ve seen otherwise. And yes, it’s all very, very subjective.
Rate this:
3.1
Michael Aulia declared:

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 @ 4:54 pm GMT-8

True, it’s quite subjective and sometimes we tend to assume and judge people too quickly ^^

By the way, like your new avatar image. I should change mine too..it’s kinda too gloomy :[
Rate this:
3.5 (1 person)
trench commented:

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 @ 6:38 am GMT-8

I agree with Michaels assessment. People tend to judge to quickly!
Rate this:
2.5
Sandra announced:

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 @ 4:25 pm GMT-8

I think this is a very interesting topic. I guess everyone has a different view on what is bad and what is normal. Personally I don’t think there are any bad people. There are only ‘bad’ habits or actions.
Rate this:
3.0
Joy announced:

Thursday, July 17, 2008 @ 3:16 pm GMT-8

Being bad is all in our mine. If we’re aware that it’s bad, it’s for us to do it or not. Sometimes we don’t care and then later we felt sorry for ourselves. Sometimes also we’re being mean and other considered it as bad but it depends. No matter how we tried to be a good person there’s still and evil side on us that needs to come out. We’re just human and even those people who become saints has been bad too.
Rate this:
3.0
BK answered:

Thursday, July 17, 2008 @ 8:12 pm GMT-8

I agree with you on the part that “bad” is a subjective term just as the saying, “One man’s meat is another’s poison. As I grow up, and still growing, I realize that a lot of things which I deem clearly as good or bad or right and wrong in the past are now so different when I re-look at them. Perhaps the 80-20 rule applies in this case. 80% of the people in this world conform to a certain standard or norm of living and thus whatever the 20% do might be deemed by the 80% as ‘wrong.’ Recently I read a similar article ‘Are there Bad People,’ and in that article, the author mentioned that there are no ‘bad’ people in this world; only bad decisions and choices made. I tend to agree to a large extent that statement.
Rate this:
2.2