Choosing Your Attitude
04.08.08
Posted under: Life, Thoughts
Yes, I’m long overdue for a new post and the delay has been mostly due to my being mildly busy over the last few weeks. Comments will be replied to and returned as soon as I can get to them. I’m neglecting a few things actually. Bad me.
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I’m a big believer on self-determination. What I mean by that, and for the purpose of this post, is that you choose your actions, especially, your attitudes. You’d think that with this mindset, I’d always try to be happy, right? Well, a few weeks ago (and possibly including a day of last week), I was really depressed. However, I did little (except some retail therapy) to help alleviate my mood. In fact, I probably worsened or encouraged my bad mood by listening to sad songs.
For me, I listen to music for two reasons: 1) because I enjoy it and 2) because there are certain songs that can express how I feel in a much more beautiful manner. Due to the latter reason, I ended up listening to songs that didn’t give me motivation or hope, but allowed me to wallow in my despair for just a little longer.
These actions got me to thinking though. I could have chosen to listen to Yellowcard’s “Believe” (not an official video) or something of that manner, but I didn’t. I purposefully chose songs that I knew were sad, that I knew were depressing. I didn’t try to go out and find friends to have a good time with, but instead, stayed inside my apartment and wallowed.
So I wonder, why would someone what to do that? Why would someone like me want to put myself through such an emotional hell? In such a dark space? It doesn’t make sense, does it, but unfortunately, it happens and people do it too often.
This all reminds me of a post I came across that had a video about a paraplegic man who had a really good attitude when everything else in his life was grim. During the clip, he talks about how he could have taken the traditional reaction and made everything seem so bad, but he didn’t. He chose to have a positive attitude and that changed everything for him.
When you’re in a bad mood, do you allow yourself to sulk and stew or do you try to do something more productive and positive? Sure, the latter sounds very ideal, but really, how often do you do it?
| 3.7 (1 person) |
| 3.7 (1 person) |
Tags: attitudes, Bill Cawley, depression, emotional hell, emotions, Yellowcard
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Michael declared:
Tuesday, August 5, 2008 @ 8:15 am GMT-8
Simple: Self-pity. Some people subconsciously enjoy it and some use it to manipulate others.
book_it expressed:
Tuesday, August 5, 2008 @ 10:18 am GMT-8
Sometimes it’s hard to remain positive. But allowing a little self pity isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But a person needs to know when to let it go, and move on.
Toronto SEO declared:
Tuesday, August 5, 2008 @ 10:34 am GMT-8
It’s always great to get back up after falling down, but sometimes wallowing and living through the misery is necessary to fully/properly get back up. Moderate amounts of sulking might actually prove to be productive and more effective than simply forcing yourself to be positive and go out with friends.
Lament over your situation, then look at things objectively and “grow on” instead of just “moving on.”
Julie wrote:
Tuesday, August 5, 2008 @ 1:30 pm GMT-8
I think the easier answer is to sit there and feel sorry for yourself and listen to the music that continues to make you feel bad. Sometimes, we just have to get it out of our system so we can move forward. It takes a lot of strength, that most people don’t have, to force ourselves to think happy thoughts and feel good, when we actually feel bad.
Justin voiced:
Tuesday, August 5, 2008 @ 3:06 pm GMT-8
Honestly, we really do love feeling sad and sorry for ourselves. I’ll listen to sad songs and watch horribly depressing movies because most of the time they are the most beautiful to listen to/watch. Feeling sad feels… REALLY good. I know, messed up, but it’s the sad truth.
fragileheart answered:
Tuesday, August 5, 2008 @ 6:35 pm GMT-8
I completely agree with you on this. It’s kind of like with our posts about Anger. Just like you can choose how to react, you can choose how your life turns out as well. Of course, the only kind of thing that it doesn’t work for is winning the lottery - unless you’re the one pulling the numbers =P
Jane wrote:
Thursday, August 7, 2008 @ 1:39 am GMT-8
Sometimes you just need to be down, so that when the good things come around they look so much better.
If bad things are happening or you are feeling down, it takes a lot of effort to make yourself feel better and sometimes we cannot be bothered with this, so we just leave ourselves to be sad, knowing that soon we will be happy again.
Also there is the princess theory as I like to call it, you want to be rescued, you don’t want to go out hunting for friends to cheer you up, you want them to come and rescue from your own bad mood. We all want to be looked after from time to time.
Happiness does not have to be a “better” emotion than sadness, because without sadness then we would not know happiness since there would be nothing to contrast it with.
Andrea declared:
Saturday, August 9, 2008 @ 2:16 pm GMT-8
Usually I let myself wallow. I know it’s not the best thing to do but I do it. Although sometimes I’ll look at LOLcats or call my boyfriend or something to help me cheer up and get on with my day. It really depends. I listen to a lot of MCR when I’m angry/sad.
Rachael announced:
Saturday, August 9, 2008 @ 3:06 pm GMT-8
First off, it’s the first time that i’ve visited your site, and I’ve bookmarked it. You and I have so much in common, and have a lot of the same views, it’s scary.
Truthfully, I sulk. Like right now, I’m in sulk-mode, just because I’m in a never-ending apartment search from a messy break-up. Who doesn’t sulk? Or wallow in their own self-pity? I’d go as far as saying that it’s natural. However, it doesn’t last. I really do make an effort to be positive, and get off my ass and go do something productive. It works.
Angela responded:
Sunday, August 10, 2008 @ 7:17 pm GMT-8
I dunno, I listen to music sometimes when I’m in a mood and it does keep me in that mood but for some reason even the sad stuff will make me start to feel better. I love music so much. It IS a form of therapy for me.
Congrats on being a kick ass blogger.
Jem stated:
Monday, August 11, 2008 @ 1:24 am GMT-8
i used to be depressed with the world, and would listen to depressing suicidal music and wallow in my own self pity for awhile. and then i would get over it and continue with life until the next time i get depressed again. & it repeats
Yellowcard was one of the bands that saved my life. Believe is a great song.
Julie remarked:
Monday, August 11, 2008 @ 4:06 am GMT-8
Maria, cause you rock, I named you as a kick-ass blogger! see here for details: http://www.velvet-rose.net/index2.php/?p=452
Christina wrote:
Wednesday, August 13, 2008 @ 2:42 am GMT-8
We all have ups and downs. If we ignore the bad times or try to spin them into something positive, then everything would end up being good (or at least okay). Eventually the less important good things end up being the bad things. We need to feel upset sometimes; it’s what balances out the rest of our lives.
That being said, I usually listen to music that reflects the way I’m feeling. When ‘m sad, I want the world to be sad with me, so I listen to music that reflects that. But I don’t let it carry on for too long. The next day, I try to wake up with a better attitude.
mspennylane expressed:
Thursday, August 14, 2008 @ 8:03 am GMT-8
It is strange how we all sometimes feel the need to wallow. Often, you feel bad to let yourself be happy. It seems completely ridiculous but it is true. Listening to sad music is a great example. I believe that sometimes we do need some sort of catharsis that music etc. can bring, though often if we just went out and did something positive we might just snap out of it!