Posted under: Life

A few days ago, I had the pleasure of proofreading a friend’s personal statement. After finishing it, two things happened for me.

First, I realized that people are very multifaceted. Some may be lacking in some areas of life, but can be completely amazing in others. A great person doesn’t mean a person who excels in all aspects of life (romance, friendship, academics, etc), but rather, finds something meaningful enough to pursue and pursues it.

Second, I took a look at myself and felt quite inadequate. Here was someone just a few months older than me and already, he had done so many things and had grown so much. When I look at this friend, I see him as this source of so much potential. Whether he changes the world or changes the life of one person, he will end up doing something great.

Me?

The things that I’ve learned within the past few years are not as profound.

Don’t put out before the third date.
Macy’s has some pretty good purses on sale on Black Friday
If a guy looks creepy, don’t give him your number and don’t let him pressure you into doing so.
Be careful with your heart because there are bastards out there who won’t give a shit.
Never allow yourself to be abused again and next time, take that stand to leave his skank ass.

All of these “lessons,” in a way, seem so superficial to me.

Even if I learned things about myself, I rarely did anything to change my actions. In a sense, I just became aware of my flaws and faults.

Sometimes, I feel as if I don’t take enough initiative to get things done. I sit and expect things to fall into my lap (opportunities, jobs, etc). Maybe it’s a part of not knowing where to begin in order to get where I need to go and maybe it’s a part of laziness.

I want to make a difference.

I have fantasies on what I could do, but I have no plan. Hell, I don’t really have a specific target.

Am I afraid? Am I lazy? Am I so confused that I can’t begin? Am I just… not that great?

People say that I’m a great person (and on some days, I feel like I am), but I haven’t learned, I haven’t done, I haven’t grown. I’m twenty-freaking-one and all I do is go to school, sleep, and drink.

I want to do different, but after having written this note, will I actually go and do it?

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Tags: aspirations, goals, inadequate