Archive for the ‘Life’ Category
Posted under: Life
I will begin my last and final semester of my undergraduate year in a few days. Of course, I’m not thinking about that due to the upcoming pageant this weekend.
Anything different in my life since the last post?
Not really. I’ve been cast for a culture show which will perform the day after the big production that I’m a director of. Whee, I’ll have lots of fun that week.
The boyfriend and I are still going strong. I hope that I am better in many ways and that I can provide so much more than any of his previous girlfriends, including the one he shared four years together with. I know that for him, he doesn’t have to worry about things like that because when I look for someone, I go for someone who’s better than the rest, otherwise, what’s the point? If you’re going to date someone who wasn’t as good as the one before, then why bother trying? You’ll always think about how good it was with the last one and then you’ll ruin the current one.
Anyway, I know that this blog has been dead of late. Why do I post this then? I guess I want to try and give it some… normalcy, I suppose. Or some life. I can be found elsewhere, such as Twitter, Facebook, and other outlets. If you’d like to know how to reach me, just let me know. Though if you’re reading this from your RSS feed/subscribed list, then kudos for you for sticking on this long.
Back to cleaning out the domain I go. This expires in March, but for sentimental reasons, I’ll probably keep it around for a little longer. I will probably change registrars though.
Popularity: 2% [?]
One of these days, I’ll have a purpose for this blog.
Of course, it will have more of a purpose as soon as I pay my hosting bill… which is as soon as I get paid…
Life is… well, life. I’ve had my ups and downs throughout this year and I’ve just started something new with someone I think is very special, kind, exciting, and definitely has potential to motivate me to better myself more than I try to already. I will admit that I am very scared because in terms of my feelings, there are similarities to how I felt when I first started with Stockton Boy. Yes, the situations are different, but I honestly haven’t felt this way about anyone since him, so yes, I’m quite scared.
However, the difference is this time, I’m definitely trying to communicate more about my issues and if I have fears about anything. I don’t want to end up surprising this new boy with anything and I want him to know how I feel as often as possible. I just really hope I don’t get hurt again.
I’ve already started my last undergraduate year in school. I’m trying to finish up my B.A. in Social Welfare. What I’ll do after college, I’m not sure yet. I know that I definitely want to go into the non-profit sector within the Asian Pacific American community, but in which field (mental health, education, youth, families, etc), I don’t know yet. I feel as if all issues are equally important, but I definitely have to decide where I want to be.
In addition to school, I’ve taken up quite a few roles.
- I’m a mentor for a 6th grader at one of the local elementary schools. She makes me feel old yet nostalgic all at once and I’m happy to see her so vibrant as she is.
- I’m also a co-director for Perspectives, a huge multicultural showcase that the student government puts on every year.
- I’ve also been accepted as one of the 20 pageant contestants for the Miss Vietnam Norcal – Intercollegiate.
- I’m training to be a student-to-student peer counselor where I’d essentially be able to help my fellow peers, students, with their issues ranging from school to relationships to work or whatever their needs are.
And surprisingly enough, I still feel as if I can do more, but when I look at my calendar, I know that I can’t afford to do so. But I’m excited to make this the best year that I have and can’t wait to see how everything turns out.
Miss all of you and I wish I were keeping up better in all of your lives. ♥
Popularity: 1% [?]
Posted under: Life
Yes, I know, I’ve been completely lagging on updating, but one day, I will try to revamp, update more often, etc. I’m still deciding on the direction I want this blog to head, so bear with me. Thanks for reading!
——————————————————-
I think it’s going to be a recurring theme for me: going to church pissed off at my mother, only to be soothed by the word of God and the sounds of His love.
Today’s mass was beautiful. It was the mass for the confirmation as well as the Feast of the Trinity. It was surprisingly crowded today, much more than usual. The choir was much bigger and this time, included a cello (I think? I couldn’t see because I was in the back), a violin, and a flute. The selected music pieces were definitely good choices and the violin beautifully added to that.
Going to the mass today, I took away a few things. First, I’ve discovered that when I sing or am surrounded by good music and words, I feel enlightened, if not, definitely happier. I feel a closer connection to God and I remember all the good He’s done for me, for my family, for my friends. Singing the songs reminds me of how much I have, how blessed I am to be alive, to be loved, and to have the ability to love.
Second, as the Bishop was talking, he said that if the confirmee’s were to forget their confirmation teachings, he would hope that they, as well as the rest of us, would remember one thing: God loves us. We are loved by God. Our religion is highly based on love… love for God, love for yourself, love for your neighbor as if they were yourself.
People wonder sometimes why or how it is I can choose to follow this religion despite all of the different vices I do outside of the church. For me, I follow this because the main message of love is a message I believe in. All the little rules and taboo are things I choose not to concern myself with because to me, they’re not as important as the main rules of love. Even when I’m stumbling back into my apartment, completely inebriated, I know that I truly am blessed and have so much to be thankful for. The chances I’ve been given, the opportunities, the experiences, all of those things happened so I could learn and more importantly, so I could learn to love.
Popularity: 6% [?]
Posted under: Life
Thankfully, I’m in one of those good moods, the ones where I feel confident about myself and about my abilities.
As I mentioned last time, I felt quite inadequate. After posting this on Facebook and other networks, the feedback I got from my friends helped me a lot to understand that I shouldn’t feel so bad because people flourish in different ways. If anything, reading that personal statement helped me create a goal of getting out more and helping more people.
About a week later, I realized that although he and I looked a lot different on paper, we each had our own strengths. I realized that mine was being able and wanting to help people. I had realized this when I ended up helping him get home after having drunk a little too much. Despite my own inebriation, I was more focused on trying to get him to a safe place than taking care of myself (though I knew I wasn’t drunk enough to need care).
Anyway, that incident and a few more throughout the week really helped me understand how large of a heart I have. Sure, that means somewhere down the line, someone’s going to take advantage of me, but I can only hope that I won’t be naive enough to let that continue.
Yesterday, I was talking to a friend and she told me that I have a fire. Although I’m nice, I have this fire, this edge. For a while now, I had been thinking of going for the Internal VP position in VSA in hopes of installing some new change. After talking to her, I feel more confident in my decision and more confident in my abilities to step up and take charge. Who knows? I might end up taking presidency during my last semester of school.
Nothing particularly insightful or eye-opening here, but thought I’d share this with you and I hope that some of you will take the time to do some introspection and realize that perhaps you do have some strengths of your own.
Popularity: 14% [?]
Posted under: Life
A few days ago, I had the pleasure of proofreading a friend’s personal statement. After finishing it, two things happened for me.
First, I realized that people are very multifaceted. Some may be lacking in some areas of life, but can be completely amazing in others. A great person doesn’t mean a person who excels in all aspects of life (romance, friendship, academics, etc), but rather, finds something meaningful enough to pursue and pursues it.
Second, I took a look at myself and felt quite inadequate. Here was someone just a few months older than me and already, he had done so many things and had grown so much. When I look at this friend, I see him as this source of so much potential. Whether he changes the world or changes the life of one person, he will end up doing something great.
Me?
The things that I’ve learned within the past few years are not as profound.
Don’t put out before the third date.
Macy’s has some pretty good purses on sale on Black Friday
If a guy looks creepy, don’t give him your number and don’t let him pressure you into doing so.
Be careful with your heart because there are bastards out there who won’t give a shit.
Never allow yourself to be abused again and next time, take that stand to leave his skank ass.
All of these “lessons,” in a way, seem so superficial to me.
Even if I learned things about myself, I rarely did anything to change my actions. In a sense, I just became aware of my flaws and faults.
Sometimes, I feel as if I don’t take enough initiative to get things done. I sit and expect things to fall into my lap (opportunities, jobs, etc). Maybe it’s a part of not knowing where to begin in order to get where I need to go and maybe it’s a part of laziness.
I want to make a difference.
I have fantasies on what I could do, but I have no plan. Hell, I don’t really have a specific target.
Am I afraid? Am I lazy? Am I so confused that I can’t begin? Am I just… not that great?
People say that I’m a great person (and on some days, I feel like I am), but I haven’t learned, I haven’t done, I haven’t grown. I’m twenty-freaking-one and all I do is go to school, sleep, and drink.
I want to do different, but after having written this note, will I actually go and do it?
Popularity: 12% [?]
Older Posts »
RSS Feed