Archive for the ‘Life’ Category
The idea of this is to take 12 photos on the 12th of each month. The original idea came from Chad and I was persuaded into participating by Mike.
Poor thing; the flowers are starting to die. Too bad I’m such a night owl or else I’d try to leave it out in the sun a little more.
I was so tired in my morning aerobic conditioning class that I finally finished the whole bottle of water!
On my way back from class, I decided to buy some really fun postcards. Now all I need is someone to send them too… *hint hint - if I don’t already have your address, then maybe you should give it to me* (for privacy, send me an email: maria@boscardin.org)
After a long hot shower, I decided to put on a face mask that helps get rid of the dirt in my pores. It’s so much fun to put on! I feel as if I’m being molded.
I had a few things to purchase, so I gave Sephora a call and used my sister’s gift cards (which, of course, I’ll have to pay her back for). I love that store so much; it’s my candy store!
My room was in much need of a cleaning, as you can see by my entire bag and box of recycling items.
Finally finished Paolo Coehlo’s Veronika Decides To Die book. It was really good as I had already read The Alchemist and Eleven Minutes by him. Next on my list is By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept.
What better snack to have than some Veronas? Well, any Pepperidge Farm snacks will do really. They’re all so yummy!
Now that they’ve finally released the official release date, I pledged to download Firefox 3 on June 17, 2008.
I love getting visitors at work! Fonz (middle one) stopped by to say hello and I missed him so much since I haven’t spent time with him since February. I saw E (right one) over the weekend too. God, I love these guys.
That’s when I finally got off of work! They kept me quite busy with all the stickers and whatnot. The plus side is that the cute Argentinian boy came in.
Last, but not least, my keys. Actually, you can’t even see the keys; you just see the keychain. Yes, all that red is part of one chain.
Anyway, this was fun, though I admit the keys were really a filler since I couldn’t think of one last photo to take. Maybe next month, you can participate too!
I know, I said that I would come back better than ever with a new layout, but things have gotten a little time consuming lately. In a nutshell, I worked my ass off for the clothing store from hell, got fired before I could quit, then started a new job as a cashier at a market/deli. On top of that, I was trying to get schoolwork done and started putting in a few more social events. I’ll write a recap post on that later.
Lately, I’ve noticed how much I’ve been thinking about the past. Sure, I do that all the time, but as of late, it’s had a different feeling… it’s more of the remembering the good days, or remembering the good people.
Not necessarily through death, but I’ve lost a lot of good relationships with people and I absolutely hate that, I do. It’s hard for me when it happens, but I just have to try and pick myself up, and move on.
Except at least right now, it feels exceptionally hard.
In the last four years, I’ve lost a lot of people. There was a good friend (DT) who won’t speak to me now due one mistake I foolishly made, my senior year boyfriend (MN), my childhood best friend (VN) I had known ever since kindergarten, my breaststroke swimming partner (AL), and many others. Sure it’s all a fact of life; people grow up and they grow into different groups and lives, but even the most different of people can keep friendships, right?
Of course, to seal the deal to all this reminiscing, Stockton Boy and I had a major blowout a few days ago. I could see that what happened with VN was happening with Stockton Boy; he was getting too busy for me despite having told me it could never happen. But it did and I ended up getting extremely upset. My stress was fueled even more when he couldn’t understand how hurt and upset I was because his guards had gone flying up.
Although I know that he wasn’t on anyone’s good side anymore, I still wanted to be his friend. I needed to be his friend because he was the closest thing I had to being able to lean on someone without feeling as if I was imposing on someone’s schoolwork and time. Then, in the last month, he wasn’t there and I just… I couldn’t handle it; I can’t handle it.
What does all this have to do with the past? A lot of people get upset when they think back on how things used to be. If I didn’t, maybe I wouldn’t have blown up like I did at Stockton Boy. I wouldn’t have thought on the days when we used to call each other (as friends) just to say goodnight for fifteen seconds. I wouldn’t have thought back on the time I was walking through my school hallways after being dumped and seeing DT right there with his arms open wide for me. I wouldn’t think back on the times MN and I used to be on the phone for hours teasing each other about useless crap. I wouldn’t remember all of the three-hour long conversations (and possibly longer) with VN and how close we were as friends despite how far apart we lived. If I didn’t think back on any of those, I wouldn’t feel as shitty as I do now. Most people wouldn’t feel so shitty if they didn’t do what I do. Except, it’s hard.
I had a feeling that a ex-boyfriend, MM, I recently got reacquainted with may have a crush on me again and last night, it was confirmed. He was doing what I did; he was thinking back to how good things were when we dated, however short it was. I know that in some cases, and for now only the ones that I’ve seen in movies, some people can date, fall out, get reacquainted and then date again to have an even better relationship. Except, this isn’t one of those movie moments and only when I got the confirmation did I realize how dangerous it is to remember the good ol’ days.
It’s ironic that so many good memories can be so bittersweet, but it happens.
So what now? How do you try and change your focus? It will always be the good ol’ days, but how can you make it have a good feeling as opposed to a longing feeling? Maybe it’s just slowly trying to come to terms with it, but as you can see in my case, I never came to terms with any of my lost friendships, my lost relationships.
I was reading a book, The Alchemist by Paolo Coehlo, and through that, I could see how easy it was for the protagonist to just let go of the past. Through his journey, he didn’t dwell on the fact that he couldn’t see the merchant’s daughter one more time, and used his good memories on his shepherding days to get what he needed out of his journey. (I highly recommend this book to everyone, by the way) There is this word in Arabic, maktub, that is loosely translated to: It is written. This book is a good example of that because it implies that if things were meant to be, if things were meant to happen, then it will be because it was written by God.
I do believe in that word; that there’s fate, destiny, and a God who doesn’t necessarily control, but puts certain events and people in your lives for a reason. In the end, if it was meant to happen and meant to be, it will be. If I was meant to continue to have good relationships with those people, I would and if I don’t, then it wasn’t meant to be.
Anyway, that’s a whole other topic that I can write on, but the main point from the last two paragraphs is just the other way of thinking I suppose. Maybe it’s not supposed to be easy or be less painful; maybe it’s just supposed to be.
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Hopefully one day soon, I will get that new damned layout up. I have the picture I’m going to use; I just need to find the time to code everything and make sure all the plugins I want to use will work. I apologize for the rather long hiatus and for those who came back to visit only to see that the new posts were advertisements (hey, I need all the income I can get at this point). I’ll write a page explaining my stance on that soon.
Okay, so I lied. I guess I can’t take a break from blogging after all. I can however, take a break from trying to keep up and return everything of mine. I know, I feel bad, but after March, I should have a lot more free time.
Anyway, I was talking to my doctor today (which, by the way, is still Monday for me until I go to sleep) and he noticed that I have a lot of impulsive tendencies. So much, in fact, that it kind of takes over my life.
I had a… disappointing date on Friday night. For the most part, it was enjoyable up until we had to part ways. See, I went thinking that he was finally going to make that move, but when he didn’t, that’s what disappointed me. My doctor said that perhaps he felt weird because my behavior towards him may have been a bit bizarre and confusing. See, we hadn’t spoken to each other in about two months and he was under the pretense that I was angry at him. So out of the blue, I send him a nice “Hi, how are you doing” text message and then showing up looking absolutely awesome for a date, I suppose that would confuse anybody else, right?
Anyway, that’s just one instance, but I notice that even with my shopping habits, they’re pretty impulsive.
But that’s just one thing for now. Another update is that I found a perfect dress. I’ve been trying to find a nice dress to wear to my cousin’s wedding in May and I haven’t really found anything that “wowwed” me. Until… today. I put it on and the second I did, it was just… amazing. Sure, there is another dress what I wanted but since it didn’t come in the color and size I wanted, I wasn’t too happy with the alternative. But the moment I put this one on and looked in the mirror, I surprised myself.
I know, I should have pictures, but pictures will come later as soon as I find the perfect shoes to go with this perfect dress.
Alright, it’s 2:30 in the morning for me. I’ll head to bed now.
Okay, I know I said I was taking a break, but this, I gotta share with you.
My sister tells me to call Sprint to see if we can extend our nice promotion of 300 free text messages a month. I call and the first agent I get sounds rather incompetent and uninterested. I tell him that we’d like to extend it or see if it can be extended, and he lets me sit on the phone for a long time without saying a word or letting me know what’s going on. After a while, he says that he can’t do it, so I tell him goodbye just to call back again and get a much more informative agent. Obviously, that was a wrong assumption. The next agent said the same thing; she couldn’t get it back on for us. However, she noticed that our text plan changed from $5/mo with 300 texts to $4/mo with 500 texts and it must have been changed with the last agent I was with.
I guess he wasn’t so bad after all.
On top of all of that, for most of Sunday, I was unable to check my online account since they were working on all that stuff. I think that whenever a company needs to do some web maintenance or upgrading of their system, they should do it during the owl hours, not during the day. The online web manager was out for the entire day, which was very inconvenient.
When I tried to log on a few days later, I could see all of my plan and phone details, but I couldn’t see my current usage details. I tried to talk to a Sprint agent through an online chat, but she was useless as well. Completely useless. I don’t even know why they have the damned chat service if every time I use it, I always get referred to calling in. Anyway, so today, I finally have the time to call Sprint without using my anytime minutes to inquire about my current usage. Do you know what they said? Because we had a small change in our plan, they were unable to give us an accurate usage amount. We would have to wait until the next billing cycle to get our information.
This… is bullshit. We had a small change in our text plan, not our voice plan. I can understand if they can’t give us a number for our texts, but to say that we can’t know what our current usage in minutes are? That’s completely ridiculous. Utterly stupid and ridiculous. Just when I thought that I couldn’t hate Sprint even more… I found out that in fact, it is possible.
And can you believe that’s just the most recent story? My other “I hate Sprint service” story has to do with my activating my new phone. See, since Sprint doesn’t use a SIM card, you have to talk to an agent in order to get your phone service switched from phone to phone. I believe that’s a very inconvenient way to handle that, but oh well. Anyway, so I bought myself a new phone and I wanted it activated. They said that I could do it online, but really, it meant that I could talk to an agent online, which, of course, I did. The online agent… was useless… again. She said I would have to call into customer service to get it activated.
Now, this kind of pisses me off because I don’t really have access to another line. Sure, I could use my roommate’s phone, but I feel awkward if I do, so I refrain from doing so as much as I can. I have a landline, but I get charged for every outgoing call that I get. With all these things in mind, how else do you expect me to get this damned phone activated? It was complete and utter crap and just more evidence that the online agents are useless.
I really, really hate Sprint. I mean, the AT&T thing was bad, but this is much worse. There is a story about how Sprint, in response to receiving the award for the worst customer service, decided to fire their customers instead of improve their customer service. I know. It sounds horrible, doesn’t it?
Just another reason why I hate Sprint.
Alright, that’s it. I have never really taken a hiatus before, usually because I never had to post so frequently before, but now I am. I can’t find myself to post everyday and I’ve got so much work ahead of me that I really need to focus on that and spending time with the people I care about outside of my apartment.
I know, I’ve attracted some people in the last few weeks and I’m very grateful for you all, I am. I’ll try and post when I have the time, but this is my little “see you later” notice because I don’t know when that will be. Work at the store has got me working much more now since a lot of the girls are leaving for various reasons, so I’ve been given a lot more hours. Work at the paper is going to make me work more since we’ve agreed to roll out with a new layout by the end of the month and there are still a bunch of things I need to sort out.
However, I’ll give you this as a present/incentive/reward, whatever you want to call it: when I do return, fully that is, I’ll give y’all a nice new pretty layout, yeah? Plus, this time away will give me time to reply to all of my comments and read all 100 of Joana’s posts.
See you when I see you. Take care, keep warm, and don’t let any bed bugs bite. I hear (from my family) that they’re a bitch.
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