…again. Not from one, but two sororities. Though I suppose I deserved the first one because I wasn’t exactly ready to join and I probably seemed a bit closed off to all the drinking and whatnot. It was so nerve-wrecking waiting until midnight to hear from the sisters and when the card was finally in my hands, I was so afraid to ope it, for fear that they wouldn’t want me. Unfortunately, that fear came true and I must say, that ruined my night.

Luckily, I had two good people try to cheer me up. TC called me and although we had never spoken on the phone before, she knew I needed a friend and I’m very happy that she called. She ended up taking my mind off things and stopped my crying. The other one, L, is someone that I had just met at the Axio party Friday night. He knew that I was waiting for a bid and when I didn’t get it, he suggested ice cream. Since all the ice cream places were closed, I figured we could hit up the donut shop instead since that opened late. We ended up talking for about an hour or so before we got tired and cold. Well, I have to admit, he did most of the talking, but it was still nice to just take my mind off of things, you know?

Anyway, I’m currently getting ready for a one-day camping trip with EC and his friends today. I’m a little nervous because now I have to be “human.” What I mean by that is I won’t be able to look like the knockout I usually try to look like when we go out. I have time to do the makeup, the hair, the clothes, etc. He doesn’t have to see (or hear) me snore, see me without makeup, etc. And then there’s the whole idea that I have to impress his friends too that I’m a little nervous about. Anyway, I hope that things will go well and that we’ll be able to have a talk to see where things are headed.

My mood is a little better, but I keep wondering why and what I had done “wrong.” I know, I shouldn’t, but at least for now, I’ll think that. It will go away soon, I promise.

I actually finished my homework tonight two days before it is due. I’m amazed. Now, if I could get the readings down…

All the SOPi rush events are done. My interview was tonight and I hope I didn’t scare any of them away. I really hate interviews. They make me all nervous and I never say the right things because I feel so put on the spot.

The first week of school went by pretty alright. I’m trying to do better with everything in terms of reading, attending classes, and exercising. I’m also trying to refrain from eating late at night.

I feel as if I’m moving in the direction of someone that I could potentially like better. If I can get my study habits together and myself finally together, I think I’d be happy.

I’m still a little bummed out about this weekend, but I’ll get over it. I usually do. Or at least I hope I will. Or maybe because I’ll keep it in, it will sit and stew until the next thing comes and I’ll blow up in somebody’s face. But I mean, do I really want to make this that big a deal? I think the one that hurt me the most was NL who could have easily come over to help, but when I called, he was on his way to the gym. The rest at least had some valid excuses. Maybe I’m just making too big a deal. But maybe that’s saying something because this wasn’t something that I was taking very lightly at all. Harmless or not, I hate bugs. I despise them; I loathe them; I don’t want them near me. So of course, I panicked. And no one came to help. At least the ones that I reached out to that could have been of some help and wouldn’t have had to drive an hour to get to me.

EC is back and we have to plan something for this weekend. One possibility is our joining his friends on their camping trip for a night (EC wants to leave his weekend relatively open for work), but I don’t know yet. After SB, I’ve been so self-conscious about what I do when I sleep at night, so I’m unsure if I want to do this camping thing. (SB always complained about my snoring) I don’t know if I want to go back home this weekend either. The sisters of SOPi will let me know Friday/Saturday night (at midnight) whether or not they’ll extend a bid to me. They’ll either call me or deliver it to me, depending on where I’m at. I haven’t been at home in a while and it would be nice to go back. Or maybe I could just go back on Saturday morning after I’ve received the news from the sisters. I wouldn’t mind taking a morning trip. That means I’d have to pack less, right?

I’ll sleep on it and think for a bit.

Well, there were a few highlights, but overall, it sucked.

On Friday, I noticed that there were quite a few flies in my apartment. About five to six I had counted. I was having trouble killing a few of them, so I gave up and assumed that they’d die the next day. Well, by Saturday, they had multiplied and I probably had at least 20 flies in my apartment. Yes, it was very gross. I was the only one in my apartment too since MG went home and SS had gone somewhere. Once I had seen them multiply that quickly, I freaked out. I’m not talking about a backing away motion and hiding in my room (despite the fact that they could easily fly in because I don’t have a door), but actually freaking out. I was hyperventilating and crouching in the floor. At some point, I cried. I tried to call all of my nearby guy friends, but they were all busy or not here in town. Before leaving to another rush event last night, I finally called the manager. He had sent someone here to the apartment when I wasn’t home, but when I returned this morning, there were still quite a bit of flies left. I tried to contact a few friends again, but no one answered or replied, so I told the management that the job wasn’t done. They came in, killed them all, vacuumed the dead ones, and left a lamp in case there were still a few flying around.

I am disappointed. This was not something I was taking lightly. I was seriously upset and no one came. I know that some had circumstances they couldn’t fit with, but I always thought that when you really needed someone, at least one person would come. But no one did. I was left to try and deal with this myself despite knowing how much it upset me. I needed someone, anyone, and no one could come to save me. It’s very disturbing to me right now.

Another downer for the weekend is that stupid Linksys shit that I have to deal with. Every time I call support, I have to explain the whole story again. Every time I fucking call. My case should be done with, it should be sealed. I sent them their fucking replacement unit, but they still have my case open. And what did that result in? A nice wonderful $163.11 charge (not a pending charge, but a posted charge) in my bank account. I am not a happy camper. I will barely have enough money to make rent this month, especially with the extra $30 I have to put in so I’m not a very happy camper right now.

Actually… some other things happened, but right now, I’m too upset to write about them.