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Posted under: Life
Thankfully, I’m in one of those good moods, the ones where I feel confident about myself and about my abilities.
As I mentioned last time, I felt quite inadequate. After posting this on Facebook and other networks, the feedback I got from my friends helped me a lot to understand that I shouldn’t feel so bad because people flourish in different ways. If anything, reading that personal statement helped me create a goal of getting out more and helping more people.
About a week later, I realized that although he and I looked a lot different on paper, we each had our own strengths. I realized that mine was being able and wanting to help people. I had realized this when I ended up helping him get home after having drunk a little too much. Despite my own inebriation, I was more focused on trying to get him to a safe place than taking care of myself (though I knew I wasn’t drunk enough to need care).
Anyway, that incident and a few more throughout the week really helped me understand how large of a heart I have. Sure, that means somewhere down the line, someone’s going to take advantage of me, but I can only hope that I won’t be naive enough to let that continue.
Yesterday, I was talking to a friend and she told me that I have a fire. Although I’m nice, I have this fire, this edge. For a while now, I had been thinking of going for the Internal VP position in VSA in hopes of installing some new change. After talking to her, I feel more confident in my decision and more confident in my abilities to step up and take charge. Who knows? I might end up taking presidency during my last semester of school.
Nothing particularly insightful or eye-opening here, but thought I’d share this with you and I hope that some of you will take the time to do some introspection and realize that perhaps you do have some strengths of your own.
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Posted under: Life
A few days ago, I had the pleasure of proofreading a friend’s personal statement. After finishing it, two things happened for me.
First, I realized that people are very multifaceted. Some may be lacking in some areas of life, but can be completely amazing in others. A great person doesn’t mean a person who excels in all aspects of life (romance, friendship, academics, etc), but rather, finds something meaningful enough to pursue and pursues it.
Second, I took a look at myself and felt quite inadequate. Here was someone just a few months older than me and already, he had done so many things and had grown so much. When I look at this friend, I see him as this source of so much potential. Whether he changes the world or changes the life of one person, he will end up doing something great.
Me?
The things that I’ve learned within the past few years are not as profound.
Don’t put out before the third date.
Macy’s has some pretty good purses on sale on Black Friday
If a guy looks creepy, don’t give him your number and don’t let him pressure you into doing so.
Be careful with your heart because there are bastards out there who won’t give a shit.
Never allow yourself to be abused again and next time, take that stand to leave his skank ass.
All of these “lessons,” in a way, seem so superficial to me.
Even if I learned things about myself, I rarely did anything to change my actions. In a sense, I just became aware of my flaws and faults.
Sometimes, I feel as if I don’t take enough initiative to get things done. I sit and expect things to fall into my lap (opportunities, jobs, etc). Maybe it’s a part of not knowing where to begin in order to get where I need to go and maybe it’s a part of laziness.
I want to make a difference.
I have fantasies on what I could do, but I have no plan. Hell, I don’t really have a specific target.
Am I afraid? Am I lazy? Am I so confused that I can’t begin? Am I just… not that great?
People say that I’m a great person (and on some days, I feel like I am), but I haven’t learned, I haven’t done, I haven’t grown. I’m twenty-freaking-one and all I do is go to school, sleep, and drink.
I want to do different, but after having written this note, will I actually go and do it?
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