So I’m going to participate in this contest/challenge:
101 things in 1001 days.
Since I’ve already explained most of it on the page, here is the link to my 101 list. I just hope that I will actually be able to accomplish all of these. Of course, since I just started, the list isn’t complete yet so as time goes on, I will continue to add things to the list. I wonder if I’ll get over my whole procrastination thing and get it done.
It will definitely be quite the challenge.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while now about my current state of mind. See, I know what I have to do to get over this whole break-up thing, right? The thing is, I’m not doing it. For awhile, I kept telling myself (and to others) that I couldn’t do what was needed of me, that I couldn’t do what I knew I should have been doing. However, I feel as if they were easy enough of tasks to do, yet I chose not to do them. Which leads me to conclude that a part of me, which part and why I do not know, but a part of me wants to feel this way. A part of me is refusing to let go and that is causing my current turmoil.
Think about it. How many times have you told yourself that you can’t do something? But you knew that you could do it if you could muster up the strength to do it. Now, it has nothing to do with any other excuse. “I can’t do it because I don’t know how to.” or “I can’t do it because it’s too hard.” The thing is, no one would suggest if one knew that you were not capable of doing the task. Even you wouldn’t lie to yourself and say that it couldn’t be done, unless you said at least not now. It’s the “not now” part that makes a difference. If it’s “not now,” then it’s going to be at some time so what’s stopping from making that “some time” “now?”
It’s because there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to do it. It’s not that you can’t do it; you can actually. You just don’t want to.
I believe that is what I’m going through right now. I know what to do, I have an idea of how to do it, I’m just not doing it. Why, I don’t know yet. I feel that if I keep digging, I’ll find the source for my lack of desire to change and maybe, I will finally be able want to move on.
Plug: I never really do this, but I’ve been hooked by this cute Shockwave game, PandaPang, and for anyone who feels like playing, give it a shot. It’s in Japanese, but the controls aren’t that hard. Left click to shoot the green blobs. There’s no pause button (that I can find) so keep that in mind. The closer you hit the blobs, the more points you get. Here’s a tip though: Don’t pick up the question mark; it will reset your power and your extended energy back to normal (I don’t know about speed though). There are only twelve levels, but the last one can be a bit of a bitch.
Note: In the previous post, I did not call nor want to call any of those girls sluts, skanks, whores, etc. I just wanted to comment on how those women did not need to dress so provocatively in order to get attention.
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I’m the type of person who can’t sit and do one thing. I need to multi-task; I need to feel busy, never idle. Sure, I don’t mind a break here and there, but that’s different from a life-long break.
How many of you are like me? How many of you feel the need to challenge yourself? Even if it’s just a little bit, like doing a Sudoku or a Crossword puzzle? Maybe even picking up a book to read leisurely? Do you push yourself as far as you can go or just sit while the fat accumulates?
If, in fact, you are not satisfied with where you are, then take a look around you. What can you do to change? What can you do to fix yourself? To steer yourself in the direction you want to go? Don’t take the wrong turn or go too quickly; you could crash, burn, and melt an overpass*.
My point is, don’t sit there idly waiting for your big moment, for your big change. If you want something to happen, take it upon yourself and do it. Take the initiative, learn, and grow.
*real image. Read the story here.
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