When you meet people, you never spill out all your deep dark secrets. However, what if, you know that one of your secrets is one of their deal breakers?
Yes, what usually happens on dates is that one is trying to impress the other. It’s natural and quite normal to withhold strange information, but is there a line to what you should or shouldn’t hold back? I don’t know if I’m making this as clear as I can, but maybe I’ll use a common bad habit as an example.
What if you are a smoker and generally, unless you know that your date smokes too, you know that most won’t date a smoker, right? I’ve made quite a few friends that I didn’t know were smokers, even occasional ones, until weeks, even months, after we had met. So if you hold that information back, knowing that it could be a major turn-off, would it be an entrapment of some sort?
Thinking about this some more, I finally found a personal example to this question: back when Stockton Boy and I had first met, he didn’t know about my history of infidelity. It would have been a deal breaker for him since almost all of his past girlfriends had been unfaithful to him. But I held that information back. Partly because I wanted to start off with a clean slate; I knew that even as friends, others look down upon cheaters as if they’re vermin. I didn’t like that feeling and so, I kept it private. It was also in part that I didn’t want him to look down on me. I wanted everything to be fun and by the time the topic came up, we were both too into each other to turn back.
In a way, I felt as if it could have been a trap. Of course, there was no malicious intent, no evil plan (”Muahahaha. He shall be mine!”), no ill-wish of any sort. Still though, it could seem as if I wanted to hook him first before he could run away.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on this? Would you consider it a trick, a trap? Or just the way that the dating world works? If you had bad habits, would you tell your date or would just let him/her figure it out later and hope that s/he doesn’t run?
Also, in small site updates, I’m currently working on my freelance web design website before I make the layout for this site. I’ve also included a “Current Songs” category for me to post lyrics to songs that I feel express my emotions at the moment.
I think that a lot of my posts for the Blog 365 are going to be memes. But hey, at least it’s blogging, right?
Today’s meme comes from That’s My Answer!
It’s Appreciation Wednesday. Who and/or what do you appreciate today?
I appreciate knowing that there is someone who waited a year and a half for me. It makes me feel a little more special and nowadays, that’s something that I need.
I just hope that nothing catastrophic happens between us. I want to take it slow and he will definitely know that. I don’t want him to be the rebound guy at all and I seriously don’t want him to feel that way either.
I got tagged by Joana and Julie for this one. You’re supposed to copy the entire list of months, but I don’t want the clutter, so I’ll just lead you to a post that has all the other months you’ll need.
Guidelines:
- Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
- Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
- Pick your month of birth (see below).
- Highlight the traits that apply to you.
- Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.
- Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!
As for tagging, well, how about I tag the first twelve people (who haven’t done this yet) that comment on this blog? I would choose people, but most of them have already been tagged.
OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
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It’s so easy for someone to make rules that s/he wants to follow, but when that one special person comes along, all the rules get bent and broken.
So then, what’s the point of making the rules? Are the rules there to weed out the bad ones? Or because we feel that all the other relationships have been so bad that having rules makes it “safe” again.
But see, the rules get broken. Especially when someone comes along and takes your heart away, the rules get trampled on. It doesn’t always mean in a good way either. (I just want to believe it’s in the good way because I’m such a hopeless romantic.) The point is that we are so apt to make these guide lines that we believe future significant others need to follow, yet we always find a way to bend them to fit, to break them to mold.
My question is then, what’s the point? Why go through all that hassle? Or maybe, you use the rules as a measurement of how much you’re willing to change and to sacrifice for this one person.
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