Posts Tagged ‘Life’
Posted under: Life
This might actually be an updated post now. I feel bad for not having blogged in the last month. Well, blogged here anyway because if you’ve been stalking (or just had a lot of time on your hands), then you would have noticed that my daily journal (or semi-daily) has been updated more frequently.
What’s the hold up? Well, if most of you know or have caught on, I like to write what I would consider a good post. A post that provokes thinking in a way that takes you outside of your usual bubble. However, as I’m about to briefly explain, I’ve been behind on being able to do that. Now, don’t get me wrong, the ideas have been coming up into my head, but I feel as if the thoughts aren’t honed well enough yet to be shared with the general public.
So yes, I am here explaining my partial absence with the online community. I’m still behind on replying to comments and visiting their respective websites. The semester started a little more than a month ago and although my classes aren’t that time consuming, my social events are. I’ve decided to join a culture club, more specifically, the Vietnamese Student Association. I’m connecting with people of a similar background and having a good time. I’ve also found myself a boyfriend too. Yes, I know, big step for me considering how the last one had painfully ended. But despite all the nasty past, I’m happy. Other things have been rocky, but at the moment, I’m happy. And I’m even happier knowing that I’ve found someone to bring the happy back. It’s just one big happy cycle.
I feel as if this time is such a busy time. I’ve got social events, school, boyfriend, and politics. Oh God, the politics. I’ve decided that I can’t stand to watch either debate. The Presidential debate consisted of two bickering men and the Vice Presidential debate was ridiculous. No candidate gave a straight answer and it was too frustrating to watch.
Anyway, this is midterm weekend and I need to get back to studying. But before I go, I will leave you with this question: Should you be looking for someone that makes you want to be a better person or should you invest more time to find that part in yourself that makes you want to be a better person?
Popularity: 27% [?]
As some of you may (or may not) know, I recently picked up a rather nasty habit (or at least nasty to me): I started smoking. This began a few months ago and I tried to keep it under wraps for a while. In the beginning, I would only do it in my own company, never around anybody else. Then I started doing it as I was just out on the streets (and yes, I tried my best to be considerate to those who were walking around me). I never really let anybody in on the frequency of my nasty habit; I just mentioned it if it was either brought up or worth mentioning. I had briefly mentioned it before to my doctor, but I don’t think I let him in on where I had my first cigarette.
Yes, this may be a bit shocking, but I had my first cigarette right next to Stockton Boy’s apartment building. No, he did not see me and I think a part of me wanted him to. When I brought this up again with my doctor on Friday, he mentioned that perhaps I was doing it because of him.
Here’s an example (unrelated to this): Your dad tells you to not jump on the bed but you do it anyway either to spite him or to defy him. Well, for me, I doubt that I was spiting anyone; it was more of a defiance. Stockton Boy hates alcohol and smoking, so what do I do? I pick them both up. Well, the alcohol had already been a social thing for me, so it wasn’t as if I was making a big life change, but the smoking? Now that was big.
So after I went through all of my studying, I finally got a chance to breathe and I thought about the whole topic some more. I realized that although he has a much less involvement in my life now than he did a few months ago, Stockton Boy still has a control over my life and I hate that. I hate that I may have started smoking in order to do what he did not want me to do and I hate that even six months later, I’m still a wreck. But at least I was able to make a decision during this thinking process of mine: I’m quitting.
During these last two months, I kept wondering why I was smoking when I knew how detrimental it was to my health and I knew how badly it smelled to most people. Now I know and now I can finally tell myself that it’s a stupid reason to have done it in the first place. But hey, sometimes you need to make mistakes in order to grow as a person, right?
Anyway, thanks for bearing with me. I appreciate all of the love and support so many of you have shown me. Yes, I am still planning on returning and replying to all comments as well as catching up on my RSS feeds. Though, if I could just ask for one thing: Don’t leave ‘It’s good you’ve quit.’ comments unless you plan to expand. I know, it’s a bit picky, but I feel as if I’m standing here sharing my secrets that even my sister doesn’t know (until she reads this) and this is a post that deserves much more than that.
Good night folks.
Popularity: 29% [?]
So, I missed a day of blogging. Goodness. I was quite tired though. Do you know when I went to bed last night? At 9:45 pm. Yes, that is quite amazing considering the fact that I haven’t done that in ages. Well, when I lied down, I was under the impression that I would only be napping for about two hours. Then I’d get up and get some work done. However, that didn’t happen quite like I planned. Sure, I woke up, but it was only to turn off my alarms to go back to sleep.
Work has got me pretty tired, but it’s okay. I’m making the money. However, I keep spending it when I buy clothes at the store. I can’t help it! They’ve got good styles and such cute underwear! I’m horrible at saving, I know, I know.
And now something’s wrong with Stockton Boy and we don’t know what’s going on. He went into the emergency room today in order to get it checked out but since they couldn’t figure it out, they said to come back in two days if the problem persists and well, he’d better go back.
Speaking of the devil… I’m still waiting for the day when I can finally be free from the pain in my heart. I know, that sounds so stereotypically “emo,” but how else am I going to express my feelings? I’m not poetic enough nor am I well versed in the English vocabulary to make it sound elegant and sophisticated. Yes, it aches to know that he’s not mine. It aches to know that he still wants her. It aches to know that all I can be is his friend. It aches, aches, and aches some more. Some think that I should stay away from him, but I can’t. There’s just something that keeps drawing me back in and I just… I care a whole lot about him, I do. I just wish that he could want me in the way that he used to, but I can’t wish for that anymore.
I should get to starting my homework. There are three weekly assignments that I need to complete by Saturday including the fact that I still have to study for that exam. On top of that, I have a project that I have to deliver by Saturday as well.
I can’t wait until Saturday is over.
Popularity: 11% [?]
Yes, I’ve kind of run out of things to say and I will defend myself in saying that it’s mostly due to my involvement in Entrecard, school, and RN. Okay, not so much RN (a friend who lives downstairs), but still. Well, my excuse for the last two days is that I had work. I’ve been on my feet for hours and I’m just tired by the end of it. I’ll get used to it soon within the next few days, but it will take a while.
Do I have some striking thought at the moment? Not really. I’m just tired and I want to take a bath, except I’ve yet to clean the tub, so no bath until that’s done, which probably won’t be at the earliest, this weekend.
This is pretty random, I know, but since I’m doing the whole Blog365 thing, I have to blog about something, right?
I’m going to hate these filler posts. I feel as if I’m not really publishing my best thoughts out there you know? Okay, well, my best thoughts are the ones that end up on the front page, but this isn’t even half of a “best” thought. It’s a lame attempt to make the midnight deadline that is soon approaching.
Okay, tomorrow. I will post something a little more interesting. I promise. Scout’s Honor… not that I’m a Scout or anything… but you get the idea.
Popularity: 19% [?]
You know, when the old men made that declaration up, they must have tried to make that phrase as simple as possible knowing that in reality, it’s not that simple.
Everyone is entitled to a life, right? But nowadays, does that include fetuses too? How about the old that would rather sign a DNR (do not resuscitate) form when admitted to the hospital? How about children of poverty, children of third world countries, children of diseases? Does the phrase apply only to Americans? Does the phrase apply only to those who “deserve” it?
What about liberty? To have liberty is basically to have freedom and again, that comes with so many strings attached. What are our freedoms? Even The Bill of Rights has its limits which for the most part, aren’t really as free as you may think they are. I don’t even want to go into the details of The Bill of Rights right now either, but you get the point. Our liberties aren’t really as free as we thought they were.
Lastly, there’s that pursuit of happiness. That stupid pursuit has so much crap in the way, with many obstacles stemming from the life and liberty issues. What does it really mean to be on that pursuit? Is it trying to say that because we are human, we are insatiable and will never be happy? Or is it saying that we may have the right to a pursuit, but whether or not we can even reach a reasonable goal in that pursuit is questionable.
I don’t really know if it all makes sense, but I’m just sitting here thinking that these three things are supposed to be our rights, our inalienable rights, yet they don’t really seem too much like the, do they? Or maybe it’s just me.
Popularity: 8% [?]
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