Posts Tagged ‘People’
(Does not exist - for you math nerds)
So I’ve been reading Freakonomics as a class textbook (one of two, don’t worry) for a while and it got me really thinking about the things that people do.
It basically all summed down to the point where people do what they do because of the incentive. People lie because of many reasons, but it’s mostly for some sort of good result (though there are cases that would refute this statement of mine). People lie because they don’t want to hurt anybody, they lie because what they are doing will hurt somebody, they lie because they don’t have the heart to tell the person what is really going on.
I remember as a child, I would try and disobey my father by being sneaky. Well, he was sneaky too because he would always find out, but he would wait for the right time to catch me in the act instead of confront me. I always remembered that although what I was doing was a bad thing (or something that he didn’t want me to do), he was more disappointed at the fact that I had to lie. That was my father, always ashamed that I had to resort to such things.
What I remember most about what I’ve read so far is how far people go for incentives. Teachers have been known to cheat, sumo wrestlers included. Real Estate agents have been known to use their expertise to their advantage, withholding information that might be valuable to a potential buyer or purposely creating manipulative ads.
People do so much to lie, but is it really worth it in the end? Now, I’m not saying that there’s someone out there that doesn’t lie and I have been known to do my fair share of distorting or bending the truth, but there are just some things that a person should not withhold from another, you know? But how can you judge or measure the severity of a lie? Does it depend on how upset it makes you feel? Does it depend on the act that was covered up? Or is it just the lie in general that is awfully damaging?
Either way, I think that although it may hurt the person to tell the truth, it’s better to say it upfront and from you than for the person to find out from another person or through another means. It always hurts more when the person or people you care about are lying to you.
I wish that I could run into people like Rhiannon who has a different opinion than I do, but can handle it in a much more mature manner than other people.
For those who have been keeping up with the blog, then you remember the wonderful fight that happened on this blog due to a difference of opinions. I admit that I did not state mine clearly on the issue and had relied on the fact that some might pick up what my opinion was, but I know now that I can’t assume people will get it. I need explicitly state it or else it gets lost between all the mush and sarcasm.
But back to my point… so Rhiannon didn’t like the issue either and had blogged about it (she took it down due to my good behavior). I must admit that I got a bit defensive because that’s just how I am, but all of her points made sense and I understood where she was coming from. It wasn’t a bash directed towards me nor was she name-calling and making absurd assumptions about me. She carried herself in a good manner, something that I truly appreciated.
So… why can’t everybody be like that?! I’ve run into people with such strong opinions and with such rude demeanor that I really try my best to avoid them. I know that I shouldn’t have to avoid them, but what else am I going to do? Confront them? It’s like that quote, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” It’s the same with close-minded stubborn people. (I can be the horse sometimes too but that’s another story)
I just wish that I could just not have to associate or interact with people who really can’t handle things on a higher level. It doesn’t matter what the age is; there should be some sort of middle ground that everyone should know, right?
Anyway, that’s just a silly wish of mine.
I believe that what makes us human is our insatiable nature. You can be a happy person for one day and then for the next, you feel as if you want something more. You are already content with what you have, but now you feel that there’s something else out there that could make you happier.
Why is that? Why are so many of us so tied into that thought? I don’t mean to say that we’re always looking for something better. You could be just perfectly content and happy for the time being, but then little by little, you notice that you could be happier if this or if that.
I don’t mean to say that you’re unhappy either. You can still be happy but want something more. Does that make sense? It’s like having that perfect ice cream cone and the only thing missing to make it extra special are sprinkles. It doesn’t lessen the joy you already have, but you know that if you had sprinkles, then it’d be perfect. But you’re still happy that it’s a great ice cream cone.
Do you think that there’s going to be someone who’s already gotten everything s/he’s wanted and there is nothing else? Or is that just death? To know that it’s the end and that when you’ve finally gotten what you want, then you can die? But that’s another topic entirely.
How do you cure the insatiable human?
Quick site updates: Boscardin’s first anniversary is coming soon and for that, I’m doing a major site revamp including a new layout. Right now, the site runs on both Wordpress and manual pages (as I like to call them). The revamp will make this site run mostly by Wordpress, so I’m in the process of converting everything. I did a cleanup of those hosted here and I’ve kept about five active and added two new ones. Anyway, stick around the next couple of weeks to see the new site!
(Back to the good stuff now…)
Recently, I had a friend contact me just to say hello, to see how I was doing, and to apologize for having left me hanging. I wrote a “last letter” type of thing a while back on this post.
Anyway, when she first sent me that IM, I was hesitant. I didn’t know how I should reply: Should I be cold and unresponsive, or should I try and be relatively friendly? Well, I chose the latter and made small talk with her. It wasn’t as much as I would have said if I didn’t hold so much animosity, but it was more than a cold shoulder.
So this got me thinking then about relationships and friendships in general. There comes a time in your life when you realize that the person you thought was going to be there, isn’t there anymore or that person just happened to have taken a blade, sliced your bloody heart out and hung it to dry. For many, that can create feelings of hate, betrayal, distrust, and much more.
My question then is whether or not you should ever accept this person back into your life again. Yes, people can change for the better, but does it help lessen the hurt and pain you went through? You can get over it and move on, but the relationship will never be the same as it once had been. It will never hold its full glory and shine like the best jewels. But will you accept this person who has caused so much pain in your life, heart, and soul back?
Sure, many will say to give this person another chance, but what if you already had? Maybe the better question is whether or not you want this person back into your life? What if you’re indifferent about this person now? Then, does it make a difference? Should you continue to be amiable to this person when s/he initiates contact?
How long do you hold that grudge? How long do you choose to remember the pain?
What if that person is no longer holding the knife, but you are?
(Despair people need not comment on this edit)
Edit: I’m letting you go. There’s no sense in hoping that you’ll reach out and you’ll try because it seems obvious that you’ve given up. I gave you the chance to do something and you did nothing. Absolutely nothing. At the end of the day, I’m just tired. I don’t need to be upset over this because lately, that’s all you seem to be doing. I stuck by you through a lot and always did my best to be a good friend. If my intentions and actions were ever unclear, then I’m sorry that you misinterpreted them.
I’m at the point now where I don’t care anymore. You could be snorting heroin and I still wouldn’t care. You could be a prostitute and I wouldn’t care. I’m done caring. You’ve claimed that I’ve hurt you, but nothing compares to the pain that you have caused me in the last two years. Nothing compares to finding out that the one person you once thought would be there through thick and thin would ever say that she didn’t care if the friendship died. So I guess it’s my turn now to say the same words.
What’s done is done. What has happened is too late to fix. Blame whoever you want, but just know that in the end, you could have done something. You could have tried harder, but you didn’t. Instead you found fault in me instead of confront me. Just know and remember that I did all I could to make you happy, to ensure that you were relatively happy, even through all of your complaining and unappreciative actions. Remember that I tried to keep this alive but you allowed for it to slip.
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Here’s some food for thought when you’re down and out:
Rainy days and sunny days are all part of what makes the week, right? But what if you have just a horrible week in which it rains throughout the days? Think of it this way: all of that water will help with the springtime growth and soon the beautiful flowers and trees will grow.
Recently, I realized that even the worst of all days can lead to something good. Even if it’s the most excruciating pain that you have to go through, it could always lead to something you’re so grateful to have. For example, let’s say you break a leg and get sent to the hospital. While you’re there, you happen to have an awesome roommate that changes your life for the better. However, had you not broken your leg, you would not have had the chance to befriend this wonderful person.
Or let’s say you wanted to join the Marines and for whatever reason, you needed to be discharged. Despite the fact that you really wanted to go through with all of the training and be able to take care of your loved ones, you had to leave. However, months later, you meet this incredible person that makes you feel (good) things that you never thought you were lucky enough to feel and now that you’ve met this person, you don’t want to let go. But, had you not been discharged from the Marines, you would not have come across this amazing (and possibly beautiful) person.
What I’m trying to say that everything happens for a reason, everything plays its own part to how you will go through your life. Good or bad factors, they make up your world. One good deed could lead to another good result or a bad one, but that bad one could later lead to something good.
So when you’re having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad month, try to remember that one day, these horrible events could lead to something incredible.
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