I believe that if you truly love someone, then you would never even think about cheating on that person. I admit that I have been unfaithful before, but when I think back on it, I realize that I stopped caring about the relationship at that point.
See, I was thinking back on a book I read, The Average American Male. It starts off about a guy who’s with this particular girl, but he doesn’t quite understand why he’s with her despite how much he hates her and all the things she does. (Then again, he might be with her for the security of getting sex.) Anyway, *spoiler ahead* he ends up cheating on her and thinks about cheating on her often. However, he later finds another girl and doesn’t cheat whatsoever. His wants don’t change much from girl to girl, but with the last one, he doesn’t even think about going out of his way to find another fuck.
So with that in mind, I’ve come to realize that a lot of people cheat because 1) they don’t have respect for the person they’re with and/or 2) they may or may not realize that they don’t care for their relationship.
I mean, doesn’t it make sense? Those who go out of their way to cheat either have weak morals, don’t understand themselves to realize their relationship is over, or are too cowardly to admit to the other that it’s over. I figure that if you love someone enough and if you care about someone enough, you wouldn’t even need to think twice about cheating. Sure, a lot of times, it’s unexpected, but when it’s not, then what can you conclude? And then, when it’s unexpected, you always have a choice. Even in the last second, there is always a chance to make that decision.
Anyway, that’s just my two cents. I’m sure there are other reasons as to why a person might be unfaithful.
I don’t know the statistics for it, but for a lot of women, their rapists are people that they’ve met before and/or the night of. This does not include those who walk down the street, by the way.
It makes a little bit of sense, doesn’t it? A girl goes to a party and runs into someone she’s met just once or twice. She’s drinking; he’s drinking and everything is swell… right up until they’re in a room and the guy wants sex but she doesn’t. However, she’s impaired and can’t really defend herself properly and so… in he goes.
Other times, it’s because of an abusive husband or boyfriend. The wife/girlfriend feels scared and doesn’t know what to do, so she gives in to give him what he wants, even if she doesn’t. It’s also difficult for women to run away since unfortunately, they are physically weaker than men on average.
I know that this is stuff you all might have heard or would have guessed, but I just wanted to say something about this topic because it’s been something I’ve been thinking about recently.
Why, do you ask? Because I realized that I, too, was raped. Not in the violent, stereotypical way, but I was forced to have sexual intercourse when it was quite obvious that I did not want to. Why did I do it? I was scared.
I hate myself for it too. I could have left; I could have said no. But I was scared of what he would do to himself and what he would do to me, not physically though. Long story short, he was someone I was forbidden to see and since I was staying at home with my parents at the time, I did not want him to create a scene in front of them; that was the last thing I needed.
I know that this particular rape isn’t as severe as others’, but now that I’ve had time to process it, I realize that this does qualify as rape. I absolutely loathe myself too for putting myself in this kind of a situation. I always thought that I could be strong, that if a man were to ever hit me, I’d leave.
But… I was never hit and that’s where I failed. Live and learn, folks. Live and learn.
[edit] I forgot to state my point: Don’t always trust the person you’ve met or you’re with and if you feel that the person might have some anger/emotional issues, address them as soon as possible. Don’t fool yourself like I did to myself; realize that when you don’t want to do something, you have that right, especially when it comes to intercourse.
Posted under: People
Happy Birthday to Boscardin!
Sexy - adjective; 1 : sexually suggestive or stimulating: EROTIC; 2 : generally attractive or interesting : APPEALING
How do you see sexy?
To me, I think a woman is sexy when she’s confident and she knows what she wants. She wears clothes that flatter her body, but don’t make her look trashy. Here are a few examples I found on MySpace that I think definitely do not make the woman look sexy (pictures will open in new window):
Bad #1, Bad #2, Bad #3, and Bad #4.
In #1, her shirt is way too low and actually makes her look a bit anorexic. The shirt/dress doesn’t flatter her body at all and looks like she was trying too hard. In #2, she’s practically baring what she’s got, and acts as if a seductive smile and hand-covered breasts make her look hot… but it doesn’t. In #3, yes, she has large breasts, but to put them up that much makes them look too flashy, too gaudy, and most of all fake. Whether or not they’re real, they should be treated with some respect, not shown for all the world to see. In #4, she’s leaning forward, trying to use her breasts as methods of seduction, to allure the audience.
Why are people so obsessed with breasts? (I admit it, I have breast envy too, but that’s beside the point)
Luckily, I was able to find good examples that definitely flatter the woman:
Good #1, Good #2, Good #3, and Good #4.
See, #1 is not exactly a size 2, but the way she wears the dress compliments her figure well. #2 works her image with the accessories. The way she holds the glasses covering a part of her eyes gives us a sense that she’s a bit mysterious and a bit alluring. #3 has a nice figure, yet does not bare all. She leaves a bit of cleavage and the rest for imagination. #4 knows how to emphasize her features. The belt helps create a figure and although you get the hint of a large chest area, they’re not hanging out for all to see.
Yes, you are free to disagree with any of these pictures.
I suppose that my main point is that women these days feel as if they need to have large breasts, a large ass, or a skinny waist in order to feel sexy, but that’s so far from the truth. It’s all about feeling confident in your skin and knowing that you don’t have to show it all to get the looks and to feel attractive. I’ll admit that I don’t have the best figure: I’ve got my baby fat lounging around and my thighs are huge, but hey, I’ll put on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt that shows a little neck and I’ll feel great.
Moral of the post? Women, please don’t feel that you need to put your best assets up front in order to get attention. Be confident in your skin, in your body and find clothes that flatter what you want to emphasize. If you’ve got great legs, then find a good pair of pants that accentuate that. If you’ve got a great set of breasts, then find a top that flatters that without having them hang out and gasp for air (that means don’t squish them).
And men, please try not to make women feel that they need to show their bodies just to get your attention. Be interested in something else besides a pretty ass. (Though I’m not saying that all men are like this, by the way)
In the end, what you choose to do is your own choice. If you’re happy showing it all, then go ahead. I just wish that you wouldn’t feel the need to show so much when showing so little can often have the same impact.
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(Despair readers must reference both parts of this blog)
(Contest) Review: The Symposium
So my lovely friend, Joana, runs this book review site called The Symposium. The site is easy to navigate and offers much more than it seems. She gives you a list of upcoming reviews, recommended readings, and even allows you to recommend a book for her to read through the contact form. With this site, she writes reviews for books she’s read, offering a brief synopsis and an explanation as to why the book received such a rating.
For example, her review for Go Ask Malice offers a quick summary of the text and then quickly dives into why she’s skeptical about such a book. However, she does forget to mention the reference of the title Go Ask Malice to the anonymous teen-read Go Ask Alice. It would have been nice if Joana could figure out if there were similarities between the two characters, “Alice” and Faith.
Through another review, The Stepford Wives, Joana offers again the brief summary and jumps right into the meat of the book. Notice that she only tells a bit of the story, never giving away the ending of the story nor the obstacles of the protagonist(s). Instead, she talks about what makes the text a good work, such as the author’s strategy and work.
The Symposium offers readers the truth; the reviews will tell you what makes the text a worthwhile read and why it doesn’t. If you happen to be a book fanatic and have the time, check out The Symposium for a list of good reads.
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