Posts Tagged ‘truth’

Desires, Impulses, and Impairment (6)

11.12.08

Posted under: Life, Thoughts

I was thinking in bed the other day about this friend I have. I’m completely attracted to him, but I know not to make a move because he’s already got a girl. However, our sexual tension is quite massive and I told him that I don’t mind staying his friend as long as I don’t get very inebriated alone in his presence.

That got me thinking about our choices, our desires, our impulses. See, I think that the substances (alcohol, weed, etc) allow us to put down our barriers. In a sense, we’ve all got certain desires, but when sober, we don’t act on them for different reasons. I know that if I were to drink, my judgment would be impaired and I would be more likely to act on impulse than to think it through. However, this doesn’t mean that everything can happen. If you’ve thought about a particular act and have absolutely no intention or desire to do it, even when impaired, you still won’t act on it.

By letting go some of our inhibitions, people can really see what it is that we want or feel. Sure, there are still many cases in which this thought of mine can be disproved, but for the most part, in harmless cases, I find this to be true.

Whether sober or impaired, have you ever done anything that you thought you’d never do? How did you feel afterward?

For me, I’ve had sex with people that I probably shouldn’t have for different reasons. I’ve also said goofy things and apparently, am a little violent. The second statement though, would probably happen without alcohol.

The two times in which I’ve had sex… well, one made me feel awful because I knew that if word ever got out, someone would get hurt. The second was a bad decision because I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea.

As for being sober, the whole Stockton Boy debacle was something that I thought I wasn’t capable of and how it makes me feel now is disappointed and ashamed at myself for doing such things. However, I don’t want to say that I regret making those decisions; I take every situation as a life experience and from that whole mess, I learned a lot about myself.

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The Truth DNE (7)

17.09.07

Posted under: Life, Relationships, Thoughts

(Does not exist – for you math nerds)

So I’ve been reading Freakonomics as a class textbook (one of two, don’t worry) for a while and it got me really thinking about the things that people do.

It basically all summed down to the point where people do what they do because of the incentive. People lie because of many reasons, but it’s mostly for some sort of good result (though there are cases that would refute this statement of mine). People lie because they don’t want to hurt anybody, they lie because what they are doing will hurt somebody, they lie because they don’t have the heart to tell the person what is really going on.

I remember as a child, I would try and disobey my father by being sneaky. Well, he was sneaky too because he would always find out, but he would wait for the right time to catch me in the act instead of confront me. I always remembered that although what I was doing was a bad thing (or something that he didn’t want me to do), he was more disappointed at the fact that I had to lie. That was my father, always ashamed that I had to resort to such things.

What I remember most about what I’ve read so far is how far people go for incentives. Teachers have been known to cheat, sumo wrestlers included. Real Estate agents have been known to use their expertise to their advantage, withholding information that might be valuable to a potential buyer or purposely creating manipulative ads.

People do so much to lie, but is it really worth it in the end? Now, I’m not saying that there’s someone out there that doesn’t lie and I have been known to do my fair share of distorting or bending the truth, but there are just some things that a person should not withhold from another, you know? But how can you judge or measure the severity of a lie? Does it depend on how upset it makes you feel? Does it depend on the act that was covered up? Or is it just the lie in general that is awfully damaging?

Either way, I think that although it may hurt the person to tell the truth, it’s better to say it upfront and from you than for the person to find out from another person or through another means. It always hurts more when the person or people you care about are lying to you.

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